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I do this every year. Here’s last year’s‘s, if you’re interested!

Initial Summary:

Where were you when 2019 began?
Gabe and Rachel’s house playing cards against humanity.

Who were you with?
Justin, Rachel, Gabe, the kids, and some random neighbors.

Was 2019 a good year for you?
2019 was a year with a lot of growth.

What countries/states did you visit?
Huntsville, Alabama, Washington DC, and although it’s not a different state, we finally made it to Big Bend in south Texas! We also made two trips to Tennessee.

Did you keep your new years’ resolutions? 
My resolutions for 2019 were hefty… see below:

  • Get to my goal weight (155) and maybe surpass it
  • be strong enough to do 10 pushups without much issue,
  • I’d like to be able to do a pull up but I just don’t know if it’s possible.
  • Re-read the bible.
  • Travel.
  • Tour Washington DC.
  • Save money to fix the house up.

I got to my goal weight (currently sitting pretty at 152.4) after struggling with it for decades, literally. I can do 10 “modified” pushups, but only 3 “”real” ones, so that’s underlined instead of crossed out.  I had a wrist injury halfway through the year that made me decide a pull up is not necessary. I re-read the bible, traveled, and got to tour Washington DC. The saving money thing soooo did not happen, but we did spend money fixing the house, so I guess that counts? Sort of?

Did anyone close to you give birth? 
Alexis had baby Lucas! He is ADORABLE!

Did anyone close to you die? 
Yes. We said goodbye to Lucky, my dog of 15 years, in June. It broke my heart…but he was ready. Additionally, we lost my Uncle Rick in November AND Justin’s Grandma Linda. November was a tough month for us.

What date from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
May 4, 2019, the date we were CALEA accredited at my police agency I work at!!

Experiences:

What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before?
I represented my police department in a committee hearing before a group of people way more fancy than I am, and did so pretty well. It was public speaking, which I’d done before, but there was a lot on the line so I’m glad it went well.

I also cut my hair super short (pixie cut) and I LOVE IT!

Did you have fun in 2019?
Yes, a lot, although the end of the year really kicked my rear end.

What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish we’d spent more time camping. We got to, some, just wasn’t enough for what I wanted.

What do you wish you’d done less of?
Smoked.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 35 years old. I attended the last day of an Ethics Train the Trainer class, then drove 3.5 hours to be home with my babies. Had some wine with dinner.

What did you want and get?
To teach in Washington DC at a national conference. To become a dual accredited agency at my police department. A fitbit, although I stopped wearing it after a few months because it hurt my wrist.

Here’s something I got that I didn’t know I wanted: for Christmas, Justin got me a “Justin Bear” that looks like him and tells me goodnight. I can take it with me when I travel and it’s THE BEST.

What did you want and not get?
Out of debt.

Others:

Whose behavior merited celebration? 
My mother-in-law, Sherry. She left us as soon as her Mom was diagnosed with cancer and stayed in Tennessee until a few weeks after she passed away. She worked so hard serving her parents and set a stellar example for the kids. She is an AMAZING woman. It really took a lot out of her, a lot of stress, and she handled it pretty gracefully all things considered.

Whose behavior made you appalled, depressed, or sad?
We had some internal drama with elected officials in the city I live in, and it made me sad on all fronts that so many people screamed at the top of their lungs… and forgot to listen with empathy and compassion.

Did somebody treat you badly in 2019?
I’m pretty sure someone stole some money from me. I don’t have proof, but I’m pretty sure. And it makes me sad because I won’t stop them from coming around, but I hate that those visits will be tainted with the stress of wondering if they’re going to steal from me again.

Who were some new people you met?
My community group members!! I started leading a Women’s group in the fall and it has been a great opportunity for growth! They are all so different than I am, and there’s so much wisdom and life experiences to learn from. I’m really enjoying it.

Favorites/Least Favorites:

What was your favorite month of 2019? 
April and May. April I went to Galveston for the annual Police Chief’s conference, which was fun, and then the next week I flew to DC with Justin.  The first part of May was the CALEA conference where we were accredited.

What was your favorite moment of the year?
Watching Benjamin process his Christmas ornament from Santa. While the tree was being put up, he shattered his 2012 Christmas ornament (a really cool rocket ship). He was heartbroken. Santa put a picture of the ornament on a wooden ornament (that won’t break) and Benjamin cried when he got it. It was magic at it’s most pure.

What was your least favorite moment of the year? 
Saying goodbye to Lucky.

What was your favorite TV program? 
Stargate SG-1, Flash.

What was the best book you read? 
“In the Dream House” by Carmen Maria Machado. It’s an artistic autobiography of a gay woman who escaped an abusive girlfriend and it’s powerful and moving.

What was the worst book you read?
“How to Lead When You’re not in Charge” by Clay Scroggins. It was ok, but lots of stuff that had been stated in other books, and a lot of his advice felt very cookie cutter in a world that often is not.  I read it through the lens of the wife of a bipolar person, and it made it difficult for me to get past the positive “just try harder” portion of the book.

What were your favorite films of this year? 
John Wick 3 and Godzilla King of the Monsters. I did not really care for any of the Marvel movies this year.

What was your favorite video game you played this year?
Marvel Puzzle Quest

What was your favorite new technology/application?
Nothing really

What was your greatest musical discovery?
I’ve been working on my playlists when I work out, and I’ve really grown to love heavier rock music when I’m weight lifting. My happy upbeat stuff I usually listen to is great for warming up and getting me pumped…but when I am lifting heavy stuff, I need rock music.

What was the best thing you bought? 
A new door for our house! Coincidentally, also the most expensive!

Self-reflection:

What was your biggest achievement of the year? 
Losing weight and maintaining it.

What was your biggest failure? 
Smoking.

Did you suffer illness or injury? 
Yeah, that wrist injury really messed up several months out of the year. Here at the end of the year though, I’m doing pretty good by taking it very, very slow.

Where did most of your money go?
Travel!

What kept you sane?
Prayer.

Who did you miss?
Sherry!! I really miss her when she isn’t home ❤

What did you get really, really, really excited about? 
Work related stuff, the travel I was able to do early in the year, finally reaching my goal weight, MAINTAINING my goal weight, Christmas presents.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Sadder, I think. It’s been a rough few weeks. But hopeful!
ii. thinner or fatter?  Thinner
iii. richer or poorer?  Definitely poorer! 😦

Did you fall in love in 2019? 
Over and over and over again. I have the BEST husband!

Did you lose anything important this year?
Dog, Uncle Rick, Grandma Linda.

What was your proudest moment of 2019?
Definitely after my committee hearing!

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2019?
I had a moment where I was like “yep, this is it!” but I forgot it.

Gauge your:
(On a scale of: Very Good, Good, Fairly Good, Fairly Bad, Bad, Very Bad)
• Relational Health – Fairly good
• Emotional Health – Fairly good
• Physical Health – Very good (FOR THE FIRST YEAR EVER!)
• Social Health – Fairly good
• Spiritual Health – Good
• Intellectual Health – Very good
• Financial Health – Bad

In the future:

How will you be spending Christmas? 
It already happened, as it usually does. We had a lovely quiet day with lots of Monopoly playing, Clue playing, present opening, and general magic.

How will you be spending New Years? 
Celebrating Eli during the day, staying up late with the Zambranos, and the next day we’ll SMASH A GINGERBREAD HOUSE! J

What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019? 
A year of no death. More financial stability.

What are your plans for 2020?
Read the bible with a little more depth – moving to a plan that goes through the NT twice instead of just once.
Write more thank you cards.
Quit smoking for freaking good.
Kon-Mari the entire house.

Will you make any new year’s resolutions for 2020?
Yes!

  • Quit smoking
  • 10 “real” pushups
  • Clean something every day
  • Limit my screen time using app timers (because I have to learn moderation)
  • One thank you card a month
  • Journal more (aiming for 3x/week)

What will be your verse of the year for 2020?
Psalms 143:6 “I spread out my hands to You; I am like parched land before you. Selah.”

What will be your word of the year for 2020?
Gratitude.

In Conclusion:

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019: 
Gratitude really is an active activity that has to be practiced and practically applied. It’s truly more than a feeling, or an emotion, or an attitude. Taking some time to really think about what others do FOR you is very powerful, and definitely something I’ve lacked in years past.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: 

I’m healed, made strong, oh, I’ve found where I belong
Forever I’m alive now in Your love
I’ve been changed, unchained, by Your amazing grace
Forever I’m alive now in Your love

On the other side of everything I’m afraid of
You are standing with Your arms wide open, wide open
Even in my deepest doubts and wonder
You are standing with your arms wide open, wide open
Yes, wide open

If I make my bed in darkness, if I try my best to hide
You know the farthest ocean, You give the morning its light
I can’t run from Your presence, there’s no place that far
So I run to you my Savior, there’s safety in Your arms

IMG_20191230_112129December 2018 vs. December 2019!

(Last years, if you’re so inclined)

Initial Summary:

Where were you when 2018 began?
Surrounded my family in my living room watching the ball drop.  I got a kiss from my hubby at midnight and hugged everyone. It was AWESOME.

Who were you with?
Justin, Eli, Benjamin, Cory, Surae, Shawn, Nichole, David, Sherry.. I feel like more people than just that, but I guess not.

Was 2018 a good year for you?
Probably the best year of my life.  I know it sucked for a lot of people – and I’ve had years like that too – but this was just a really good combination of factors that made it amazing.

What countries/states did you visit?
I actually stayed pretty close to home this year – intentionally – because next year is going to be BUSY.

Did you keep your new years’ resolutions? 
My resolutions were to quit smoking completely (I had the occasional cigar but decided to stop) and take January off of drinking.  That actually ended up kicking me in the butt, because since I wasn’t smoking or drinking I ate a lot of unhealthy food in January.  February I started really watching/tracking my food.  By April I decided to try the Keto diet!  I started exercising in August, and quit smoking FOR GOOD in November (womp womp womp).

My other new year’s resolutions were to read the bible in a year, and get my BMI down and my weight to 170.  I DID ALL OF THAT! WOO!

It is a curious thing that the year I read the bible every day was also the year I got healthier and kept more resolutions.  Coincidence?? Hmm…

Did anyone close to you give birth? 
No, but several coworkers did.

Did anyone close to you die? 
No, but a young man in our church did die – I didn’t know him personally, just from a distance…but he was such a sweet kid who impacted many, many lives.  It was pretty gut wrenching.

What date from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Hmmm.  I had my first CALEA file review December 3-7, but I don’t think I’ll remember those dates.  I will definitely remember the experience!!

Experiences:

What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before?
Successfully changed the way I diet! I’ve failed SO MANY TIME BEFORE.  Also, successfully scheduled and conducted an on-site assessment of my department.

Did you have fun in 2018?
YES!!! So many concerts!

What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish we’d been able to spend more time together as a family.  It was a busy, busy year.

What do you wish you’d done less of?
I wish I’d spent less money! And spent less time on my screens!

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I actually had a mock assessment with a friend of mine – she came down from Keller and reviewed my files for me.  We ate Mexican food for lunch, and when I got off work I picked up the kids and we went to Round Rock Police Department for the grand opening of their new training facility.  We got to tour the grounds, see live fires, the boys got “Round Rock SWAT” hats.  I also won a contest at our local Chick Fil A, so we had Chick Fil A for dinner and I got a free stuffed cow and some coupons.  The boys loved the evening, we had a great time.  Benjamin thanked me for spending time doing what they wanted to do on my birthday, which was the icing on the proverbial cake.

What did you want and get?
To get two teaching opportunities!

What did you want and not get?
Justin to be happy.

Others:

Whose behavior merited celebration? 
Honestly, this year, I’m going to say MINE.  I’ve worked HARD this year to meet my goals and stay on track.  I’m so proud of my progress.

Whose behavior made you appalled, depressed, or sad?
Humanity as a whole.

Did somebody treat you badly in 2018?
Nope, I did pretty good.

Who were some new people you met?
I’ve really enjoyed getting to meet people in my Community Group!  Also, Cory’s girlfriend Nicole and her two daughters are pretty awesome.

Favorites/Least Favorites:

What was your favorite month of 2018? 
May was really cool because I got to go to Galveston and hang out with my TALON friends from work, and then went on a family vacation with Justin, the boys, my Aunt Lynn, and cousins.  We had an amazing time staying in Orange Beach, Alabama. We got to do a lot of lounging around, and got to see the Blue Angels.  My cousin Logan also graduated college later that month and we had a great party celebrating him.

What was your favorite moment of the year?
Listening to Five Iron Frenzy in concert was definitely pretty epic.

Receiving my award at the award banquet was pretty cool too (I received the Chief’s Award of Excellence this year) but honestly so many of my favorite moments were spent sitting or lying quietly with my kids and husband.  This was a whirlwind of a year and I really enjoyed the moments of pause.

What was your least favorite moment of the year? 
I hate this question. Oh!! Probably when I got shot up during patrol practicals. I ended up with several scars on my right hand and arms from being shot with sim rounds at close distance.  It really, really, really sucked.

What was your favorite TV program? 
I re-watched Bones and it was awesome.

What was the best book you read? 
I actually read a bunch of books this year! Hard to narrow down my favorite, but here’s my top three:

  1. Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
  2. Inspired by Rachel Held Evans
  3. The Infinite Pieces of Us by Rebekah Crane

What were your favorite films of this year? 
I still have a bunch I want to see, but Ready Player One was definitely one of the best.  The Shape of Water was so, so beautiful in spite of some of the weirdness.  We also watched The Greatest Showman and fell IN LOVE with the soundtrack. Seriously so much fun! And I really liked “The Christmas Chronicles”.

What was your favorite video game you played this year?
Justin bought me Shadows of War and I’ve been enjoying that a lot.

What was your favorite new technology/application?
Nothing really tickled my fancy.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
This is going to sound weird, but probably how much I loved (and missed!) attending concerts.   I went to a bunch as a kid, but this year I went to SEVERAL. I saw Alan Doyle (of Great Big Sea) with Benjamin and Teresa, I saw Ruthie Foster TWICE, also saw Imagine Dragons with the family and I went to see Five Iron Frenzy and MxPx by myself!  We got free tickets to POD, Lit, Alien Ant Farm and Buckcherry so I took Benjamin, Cory and his girlfriend.  I even went to one of the local high school band concerts with the boys.  I’ve already scheduled several concerts for next year!!!

What was the best thing you bought? 
Surgery to have a tooth extracted.  Unbeknownst to me, a reoccurring abscessed tooth has been causing my grief for ALMOST 10 YEARS! Seriously.  So, I have less teeth, but no more bad taste in my mouth whenever it got re-infected.

Self-reflection:

What was your biggest achievement of the year? 
Losing weight and maintaining it.

What was your biggest failure? 
Spending too much money on frivolous stuff.

Did you suffer illness or injury? 
NO!!! I took it super easy this year and besides the tooth issues early on, everything worked out pretty well.

Where did most of your money go?
Concerts, new clothes, and food.

What kept you sane?
Routine.

Who did you miss?
Lilly.

What did you get really, really, really excited about? 
Work related stuff!!! I passed the first part of my initial national assessment and was re-accredited with my state assessment.  Both big deals!!

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter?  Thinner
iii. richer or poorer?  Richer, sort of.

Did you fall in love in 2018? 
This year, we maintained.

Did you lose anything important this year?
46 pounds? Hah!

What was your proudest moment of 2018?
Getting under 200 pounds, receiving an award at work, emailing everyone at the PD that we passed our file review.

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2018?
Nothing immediately comes to mind.

Gauge your:
(On a scale of: Very Good, Good, Fairly Good, Fairly Bad, Bad, Very Bad)
• Relational Health – Fairly good
• Emotional Health – Very Good
• Physical Health – Good
• Social Health – Fairly bad
• Spiritual Health – Good
• Intellectual Health – Good
• Financial Health – Fairly good

In the future:

How will you be spending Christmas? 
The weekend before (starting tomorrow!) we’ll go to my Aunt Tina’s house and party with them and all my family that’s in Texas. Very excited about that!!  The actual day of, we’ll just be hanging out with the family at the house.  I’d like to say it will be nice and quiet, but I know better.

How will you be spending New Years? 
With family and maybe friends! Not sure yet!

What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018? 
I’d like to get another fitbit.

What are your plans for 2019?
Get to my goal weight (155, only about 14 more pounds) and maybe surpass it, be strong enough to do 10 pushups without much issue, I’d like to be able to do a pull up but I just don’t know if it’s possible.  Re-read the bible.  Travel.  Tour Washington DC.  Save money to fix the house up.

Will you make any new year’s resolutions for 2019?
Yes.

In Conclusion:

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018: 
Two things.  First: I always knew that change was slow.  Culture shift is slow.  But this year I learned how important it is for change to come from the top.  I learned a lot about leadership, how to lead when you’re not in charge, how to talk to people one on one to facilitate change, and how you really have to see things from different perspectives in order to be successful.  I learned that the loudest voice is not always the right one.

Second: I’m still the weird and awkward kid I was in middle school, desperate for validation and not getting it because I’m just… I’m not the popular kid.  Everyone, for the most part, likes me OK… and a few people think I’m pretty awesome… but by and large when people think of me, they don’t necessarily think I’m as amazing as I think I am.  And, here’s the important part: that’s OK.  I don’t have to win the most popular contest award at work, I don’t have to convince everyone of my value, those are things that should come from my core group of people. I have to periodically re-learn this lesson, I’m not that amazing. I’m a solid, kind person, but I’m nothing special to anyone other than the core group of people who love and adore me…and that is enough.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: 

Another round of bullets hits my skin
Well, fire away ’cause today, I won’t let the shame sink in
We are bursting through the barricades and
Reaching for the sun (we are warriors)
Yeah, that’s what we’ve become (yeah, that’s what we’ve become)

 I won’t let them break me down to dust
I know that there’s a place for us
For we are glorious

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I’m meant to be, this is me

Look out ’cause here I come
And I’m marching on to the beat I drum
I’m not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

Also, because I’m super stinking proud of myself:

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Dearest Eli,

As I write this, you’re running around the house in your fire fighter pajamas, using my phone to take pictures of everything around you.  This year has been a year of you turning more into YOU – the you that is sweet, charismatic and encouraging, but also passionate and fierce.

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If I had to sum you up in two words, Eli, you’re a fierce encourager.  So many days this year I heard, “Go Benjamin go!” or “Go Daddy go, you can do it!” or “You’re doing a great job being a Mommy today, Mommy.”  But – in the same breathe – “I’m gonna beat that guy up!” or my favorite:

“Mommy, let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a knight named…… Daddy. And Daddy lived over here (points).  There was a biiig hugenormous dragon that lived….. over here (points to a different spot). One day, the dragon stole the princesses crown, and Knight Daddy went to the dragon and CHOPPED HIS HEAD OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Or stabbed his eyes out. Or stabbed him in the heart.

You know, the usual 3 year old story.

You love telling stories, and I am rewarded with a new one on a regular basis.  The themes are similar – heroes, battles, and rescue are almost always present.  Each story you tell though, the good guy wins.  You love Finn from Star Wars – he’s your favorite (and so is every other stormtrooper).

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Darth Vader is also your favorite, but you’re never a bad Darth Vader. He’s always a good guy, in your book.

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You love to be the hero. See below, Optimus Prime:

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You don’t encourage anyone as much as you encourage your big brother, Benjamin.  So many summer days we spent at the pool, with us watching Benjamin do tricks while we floated and tried to learn to swim, and in the midst you could be heard saying “GO MY BROTHER GO! THAT’S MY BROTHER! GO BENJAMIN!!!!!!”

You love each other so much.  We haven’t had much fighting at all between you guys.  You’re so different from each other, you compliment each other.  Benjamin started Taekwondo lessons this year, and you’d love to but you’re not quite old enough.  But Daddy is teaching you at home and you love to practice – sometimes on Benjamin!

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One of the side effects of your passion and bravery is that you sometimes get carried away.  Like the time this summer where you jumped, bravely, into the 1 foot deep kiddie pool at full speed.  You fractured one of the bones in your foot and got stuck in a cast for several weeks!  Luckily it was the removable kind, so it didn’t interfere with summer swimming, but it was pretty crazy seeing you walk around with a huge cast.  It didn’t slow you down at all though.  You could dance around like normal within a few minutes of putting it on for the first time.

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Last year you feel in love with Star Wars, a love that continued all through this year.  You also added Transformers, Power Rangers, and PJ Masks.

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Power Rangers Dino is probably your favorite – and why not?! – and you loved the Power Rangers movie. Your love of dinosaurs comes from that, I suspect. 20170914_180217

You love wearing hats, glasses, and playing video games (especially “laser games”).

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You love hanging out with your cousins and friends.

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You still love sweets!

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You were old enough this year to go hiking, which made everyone super happy. We’ll definitely be doing more of that next year!!!

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If I had to pick out the thing about year 3 that stands out the most, I would describe this year as the year of the lego.

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This year you graduated from big blocks to regular sized legos, and as much as my toes may dislike it, you’re a fan.

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You build rocket ships, space stations, space cars..you get the idea.  Everything is precariously perched, and you have a serious obsession with lasers.  I mean, a serious obsession.

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We went to the Lego Land that’s inside the mall in Grapveine, Texas, and you talked about it for MONTHS.

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Your prayers for months consisted of “Dear God, thank you that we got to go to Lego Land. AMEN!”

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Speaking of praying, you love talking to me about God.  We talk about how God made you strong, and smart, and kind.  We talk about how God made the world and everything in it.  We talk about how God gave you Mommy and Daddy and Benjamin and ALL your family.

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You memorized all the songs from church, and love to dance and sing with “Ollie the Owl” at church.  Your favorite song is: “God’s love go on” because there’s a robot part.

When you’re not building a spaceship or watching one of your shows, you’re practicing ninja training and sword fights.

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You absolutely love fighting.  At least, in theory.  For Christmas we got you punching gloves and helmets, and once you got your helmet on, Benjamin popped you in the head, softly, and you started whining that it wasn’t fair he could hit you!  But most of the other time you can be found swinging a sword, trying to chop people’s legs off or stab them.  Daddy and I have to be careful playing with you, because you don’t hold back!!!

But in spite of the love you have for fighting, ninjas, sword fights, punching, and kicking… you’re one of the sweetest kids I’ve ever met.  You snuggle and give kisses readily, you lift us up when we’re feeling sad, and you recognize what emotions we’re feeling.  Your empathy for a 3 year old was pretty much off the charts, and I can’t wait to see what year 4 brings.

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I know it’s silly to look so deeply into you at this age but I hope you keep that forever. I hope you remember that inside of every bad guy – even people like Darth Vader – there’s a broken person deep inside that bad guy exterior…. who has value. Who deserves love. Who deserves someone to believe that there could possibly be a good guy in them.  I see how you love easily, how you forgive with tenderness, and how you smile at everyone.  I see how you are willing to fight for good, and I hope you never forget that.

Happy birthday, Eli.  Your Momma loves you and who you are becoming.  I can’t wait to see what happens next year.

Last years, if you’re so inclined.

Initial Summary:

Where were you when 2017 began?
We drove out to see Brad, Charla and Lexi who were all camping, and then drove over to Gabe and Rachel’s house to celebrate with them.

Who were you with?
Family for most of the day, and friends who are LIKE family for the rest of it.

Was 2017 a good year for you?
The first half of it was pretty hard, the second half was sort of a reawakening.

What countries/states did you visit?
We took a cruise and visited 2 different parts of Mexico.  We also spent a week in California.  I also travelled for work, making it to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma and Providence, Rhode Island.

Did you keep your new years’ resolutions? 
Well, Eli got potty trained, but that was really on him not so much as me… and I do have healthier relationships, but I failed to improve my eating/exercise habits to a substantial amount.  I did better, but then, cookie Christmas season. I’m getting better, though.

Did anyone close to you give birth? 
Some coworkers did, but no family.

Did anyone close to you die? 
No but Justin’s Great-Grandmother passed away.

What date from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June 16th, the day we flew back to California with Lilly.

Experiences:

What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?
I really, really, really struggled with how to parent my niece.  I spent a lot of time feeling like a complete failure, weak, and completely in over my head.  Which I totally was.  This year, more than many other years, I felt like I wasn’t good enough.

Did you have fun in 2017?
There were some pretty awesome parts of 2017, but I’m pretty glad it’s over.  Yes, I had fun, mostly the second half of the year.

What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish I’d exercised more.

What do you wish you’d done less of?
Spent less money on frivolous things.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 33!  I taught in the morning, then drove out to our training field and helped with patrol practicals. For dinner, my husband fed me wine, cheese, crackers and grapes.  It was the best birthday I’ve had in a long time.

What did you want and get?
I didn’t really have any wants, but the highlights were the coffee mug from Leslie and the Matchbox 20 tickets from Teresa.  We had a great time hanging out and listening to music and I definitely need more concerts in my life.

What did you want and not get?
Nothing really.

Others:

Whose behavior merited celebration? 
Justin has really changed this last year.  The journey over 2016/2017 was pretty intense and overwhelming for a lot of it, but he made it through and made a lot of changes that have improved his mental well-being and it’s been so encouraging and amazing to watch.

I also really celebrate my coworkers this year.  They rallied next to me, let me vent and be concerned, they asked about my crazy home life and offered support, encouragement, and advice.  I can’t even thank them enough.

Whose behavior made you appalled, depressed, or sad?
Lilly’s.  I love her, but I’m scared about the path she is heading down.  At a certain point in life though you have to let people make their own decisions, no matter how bad you think it will turn out, and trust God because he’s the only hope she has.

Did somebody treat you badly in 2017?
Probably not intentionally, and probably not maliciously, which is really what matters.

Who were some new people you met?
Church folks, mostly!

Favorites/Least Favorites:

What was your favorite month of 2017? 
December. It started with a cruise and I’ve had some good time for reflection and refocusing, as is usual for me this time of year. I’ve really made peace with a lot of stuff that occurred this year, and I really needed that.

What was your favorite moment of the year?
Driving through California with my husband in the middle of nowhere, with no GPS signal and no civilization around anywhere, stopping by the side of the road and staring at the milky way, then sleeping under the stars.  I’m a lucky, lucky woman.

Also, the time I got to spend with the kids. We did a lot of fun stuff this year!

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What was your least favorite moment of the year? 
There were a lot of least favorite moments this year.  Most of them involved dealing with things out of my control.  BUT next year is a new year!

What was your favorite TV program? 
Blacklist!!!!

What was the best book you read? 
SO MANY GOOD BOOKS THIS YEAR!!! So hard to narrow it down. Here’s my top three:

Non-religious non-fiction: Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown, totally rocked my world.

Religious non-fiction: Searching for Sunday, by Rachel Held Evans

Fiction: The Great Passage by Shion Miura

What were your favorite films of this year? 
So many good movies this year.  I loved Lego Batman, Wonder Woman, and Thor: Ragnarok.

What was your favorite video game you played this year?
Wordscapes!

What was your favorite new technology/application?
My google pixel 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What was your greatest musical discovery?
SO MANY GOOD SONGS!

The Good Parts album by Andy Grammar – Pretty much every song on it speaks to my soul. (tell me your story, but don’t leave the good parts out… chills!)

Every Beat – by the Northpoint band (a cousin church to my Northpoint that is based in Atlanta)

Craig – Walker Hayes

Learning – Jason Gray (and, on depressing days, “Not Right Now”)

What was the best thing you bought? 
Vitamin B. Life changing (more about that later)

Self-reflection:

What was your biggest achievement of the year? 
Having the strength to send Lilly home.  It was very very hard knowing that she would likely fall into old habits.

Also, realizing that my eating habits are essentially gluttony.

What was your biggest failure? 
Sending Lilly home.

And, not controlling my eating better.  I’ve realized how much of it is a heart issue, not just a physical issue.  It’s definitely both.

Did you suffer illness or injury? 
Yes.  After Lilly left, my stress levels bounced from extreme to normal very quickly, and my body suffered as a result.  It took a lot of experimenting to realize that I needed a vitamin B and vitamin D supplement.  Once I started taking both regularly everything evened out for the most part.

Where did most of your money go?
Kids and gasoline.

What kept you sane?
God.

Who did you miss?
Aunt Lynn, who I didn’t see nearly enough of this year!

What did you get really, really, really excited about? 
The end of 2017.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? HAPPIER
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer

Did you fall in love in 2017? 
I must admit, my husband’s life changes have made me fall more in love with him, so I would say yes.

Did you lose anything important this year?
I was pretty humbled this year. I would say I lost some of my pride, and became more aware of its impact on my life.  I still have a way to go, but I would probably say I lost my obliviousness to it, more so then the pride itself – which was an impactful, important thing to lose.

What was your proudest moment of 2017?
Receiving an award for my teaching work.  Definitely one of the highlights of this year.

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2017?
I vaguely remember something happening and saying “welp, that’s it, this is my most embarassing thing for this year” but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was.

Gauge your:
(On a scale of: Very Good, Good, Fairly Good, Fairly Bad, Bad, Very Bad)
• Relational Health – Very Good
• Emotional Health – Good
• Physical Health – Fairly bad
• Social Health – Fairly good
• Spiritual Health – Good
• Intellectual Health – Good
• Financial Health – Bad

In the future:

How will you be spending Christmas? 
We’re going to spend the 23rd with extended family, the 24th together at the house and at church, and then Christmas morning we will have our family Christmas.

How will you be spending New Years? 
Hopefully with friends and/or family.

What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? 
A balanced budget

What are your plans for 2018?
To get my BMI to 27.4 (170 lbs, right in the middle of “overweight” instead of obese).

Will you make any new years resolutions for 2018?
Probably.

In Conclusion:

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017: 
You will not always be happy and satisfied.  There are periods of life that are just plain hard, sometimes with no end in sight.  The end always comes, though, there really is joy in the morning, you just have to stick it out and not lose hope.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: 

First half of the year:

While I wait for the smoke to clear
You don’t even have to speak
Just sit with me in the ashes here
And together we can pray for peace
To the one acquainted with our grief
(Jason Gray – Not Right Now)

Second half of the year:

You gotta grow
Love yourself and be kind, water your soul
Celebrate, find your light
It don’t matter who you are, where you’re going, you’re not old
We all know, yeah, we all know
Gotta grow
(Andy Grammar – Grow)

1. What is your favorite color? Blue
2. What is your favorite toy? Pogo stick
3. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries
4. What is your favorite tv show? Pac-Man
5. What is your favorite movie? Harry Potter, Lego movie, Sing
6. What is your favorite thing to wear? Soft cloth
7. What is your favorite animal? Tiger
8. What is your favorite song? The Nights by Avicci, Learning by Jason Gray, Set it All Free by Ash (from the movie Sing)
9. What is your favorite book? Harry Potter series
10. Who is your best friend? Aedan and Kaley
11. What is your favorite snack? Curly noodles and donuts and ice cream
12. What is your favorite drink? Sprite
13. What is your favorite breakfast? Bacon and cereal
14. What is your favorite lunch? Curly noodles
15. What is your favorite dinner? Chick Fil A
16. What is your favorite game? Borderlands and Wii U Sports Club, Splatoon, and Checkers
17. What is your favorite thing to play outside? Baseball
18. What is your favorite Bible story? The story of the 100 sheep
19. What do you sleep with at night? Friendent!
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? Astronaut or pilot!
21. What is the most important lesson you learned this year? Learning to clean up after myself.
22. What is your goal for next year? I want to make sure I spend lots of time with my family and take care of them like they took care of me on my birthday.