Every year I look back at the years events and try to recap, glean wisdom, and remember the good and bad.  This year I had mounds of bad and very little good.  The good was very good, and the bad was almost unbearably bad.  But we’re almost there. 2010.  So much to look forward to next year.  So many people I know are hurting from this year, and not just because of the economy.  It’s been rough. Sickness and stress and family problems and death.  And the economy.  It’s almost been too much.  But God is good; and that is my eternal hope.  Anyways.  Last years YiR can be found here.

Initial Summary:

Where were you when 2009 began?
At Tim and Teresa’s house, we had a party where we did lots of ridiculous things and drank too much alcohol.  Cory made me cry (by giving me the grossest wet willie EVER), which in turn made Mandy cry and it was pretty crazy funny.  Teresa also made the BEST spinach artichoke dip I’ve had to date.  Literally.

Who were you with?
Justin, Tim, Teresa, Mandy, Cory and Jake.

Was 2009 a good year for you?
No.  To me, a good year would have the good outweigh the bad, and that failed to happen in many big ways.  That is not to say there were not good things about this year: there were.  And I will try to focus on them as I reflect…  but I’ll tell you right now that I will fail.  The bad was just too big, this year.

What countries/states did you visit?
California (which sometimes seems like a country of its own) and New York City.  It was both Justin and my first time in NYC and it was definitely a memorable, amazing experience.

Did you keep your new years’ resolutions?
I did a much better job than I ever have before with controlling my eating/exercising, but I still have a long way to go.  Isn’t that always true?  My exercising has improved dramatically, but mostly I can’t take credit for that.  After I lost my parents I felt myself falling into a funk, I knew if I didn’t do something I would lay around and be miserable and gain weight.  I hired a trainer, and I pay her to show up at my house and force me to work out.  In the end though, even if I wasn’t working out, it would have been worth it because I’ve made a totally amazing new friend who I expect to have in my life for many, many years to come!

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Emilie, my sister-in-law, gave birth to Keegan! He’s just about the cutest little baby ever and Jake is turning out to be quite an interesting (and adorable) daddy.  There were also several coworkers and friends, but Em’s birth was probably the closest to me.

Did anyone close to you die?
Yes.  I lost my brother Daryl Threet on February 9th, 2009 and both of my parents, Rick and Suzette Threet, on March 4th, 2009.

Daryl’s death was tragic, but I was not nearly as close to him as I am to my other siblings.  I loved him, but his life was always so different than mine.  He never really grew up, and instead lived a life of drug addiction and dependency.  He spent a lot of time in prison.  Everyone has one of those relatives, so I know our story isn’t unique.  I often prayed one day Daryl would finally straighten up, but beyond that he had come to a point that we just couldn’t reach him.  The day he died he’d only been out of jail for a day or two, had went for a heroin fix, and something happened while he was gone from home… he was found unconscious by some rail road tracks in Stockton.  His brain stem was severed.  Foul play was suspected, but who can know for sure?  Stockton police have bigger problems than a dead junkie.  He left behind a beautiful little girl.

My parents death… I don’t know if I’m at a point yet that I can really adequately look “back” on their death.  It’s been nine months but I still feel the loss painfully near sometimes, especially during this holiday season as I carry my first child.  Losing a parent is never easy, losing them both at the same time to murder/suicide is completely ridiculous.  I wish sometimes that I had better words to explain how I feel about it all, but I am just not there yet.  Honestly, I may never be.

What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 4th, 2009 for obvious reasons.  October 3rd, 2009 is when I found out I was pregnant.


What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Let’s see.  In January I spent more money on a singular car repair than I ever have before (somewhere in the neighborhood of 1200 dollars).  I took my husband to urgent care with a terrible case of pneumonia.  He ended up allergic to the medicine they gave him, which took us back to urgent care 2 days after that – which, by that time, I had started to exhibit similar symptoms.  We were both laid up for about a week.  In February my entire immediate family (minus spouses) gathered together in California to mourn the loss of my brother.  In March I buried my parents, planned a double funeral and gave my first eulogy.  In April, I witnessed my little brother get married.  In May, I was there for his son’s birth.  In July, I became my nephew’s Godmother.  In August, I spent a week in NYC and did all the touristy stuff there.  In September, I went to my first Hockey game and fell in love (GO STARS!).  In October, I found out I was pregnant and got Swine flu.  In November I cried on my mother’s birthday.  In December, I received an award at the police department – won at a state level, but given to me by my chief of police (which really means a lot more to me, honestly, than the state giving it to me).  It’s called the “Silent Hero” award and it’s basically recognition of my service and dedication.

Did you have fun in 2009?
Not really.  I mean, I don’t want to flat out say “no” that I had no fun in 2009.  I did.  And I had moments of joy.  But almost every single fun event was overshadowed with the knowledge that my Mom and Dad would no longer be here to enjoy those moments.  That, for all the joy in the world, I couldn’t ever get them back.

What do you wish you’d done more of?
These questions are hard to answer this year, because this year was so full of grief and crying and stress and just trying to survive, much less focus on anything else real in the world.  I have no idea.  I think that I did exactly what I needed to do to survive.

What do you wish you’d done less of?
This is another difficult question to answer.  I wish I’d spent less time losing loved ones.  But that’s kind of obvious.  My life, this year, has been overshadowed by so much loss that to try to break it down into things I could do, or should have done more or less of, doesn’t seem right.  Existing in survival mode (which was how I survived most of this year) is not a normal state; not a state that one belongs in for extended times; and as I move away from that survival mode I will, in retrospect, find things that I could have improved upon.  Initially, my guess would be to say that I probably could have worried less, and had more faith in God’s sovereignty than I did.  But I’m giving myself a break, as others have this year.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 25, and there were two exciting things that happened.  As is tradition the family went to Schlitterbahn for Jennet and Teresa’s annual Schlitterbahn birthday bash, where we sit around and eat junk food and relax on the patio and hang out in the park and just… you know… relax.  We had it in early August, but I’m counting it still because it was for mine and Teresa’s birthday.

On my actual birthday though, my best friend Amy flew out to Texas and surprised me! It was craaaazy awesome, not sure how they pulled it off without me finding out, but it was awesome.  I had to work some of the days she was here, but it was still an amazing week.  We had so much fun! We shopped, and hung out, and got charms on our bracelets (Justin got me a charm – a starfish!) and just… it was very healing.

What did you want and get?
A digital SLR camera. New dressers. A new friend (hi Leslie). Pregnant!

What did you want and not get?
Another year without death.  It seems 2009 was a year of death

Post 2, 3, and 4 can be found by following the links.