Yesterday Justin got off work at around 11pm. That’s about an hour after the store closes (fyi: Targets are generally open 8am-10pm except on Sunday, when it’s 8am-9pm). I pulled up to the store, tired, at around 10:58. When I pull in I usually drive all the way down the main aisle, turn right, and get into the next lane because that’s where Justin walks out.

So I’m in the car, its 10:58 and I’m cruising along to Casting Crowns CD “The Altar and the Door” which is an amazing piece of musical art. I am rolling through the parking lot at around 5mph. Up ahead, walking towards the front of the store, are two teenage girls (I’d guess around 16-18 years old). At this point, the store is very closed – there isn’t anyone around – the lights are off inside the store and it’s all very dark and foreboding. Does this deter our new friends? Oh no! They keep walking up to the front doors.

By this point I’ve gotten to the T where I need to turn right so I can park, but I’m sitting there behind the girls and I’m just a bit curious how far they’re going to walk before they realize this very obviously closed store is, well, you know, closed. So I sit there and watch. Luckily, my awesome car idles very quietly. I’m like a big white ninja car.

(I’m reading this to coworker. She says, very put off, “Ninjas aren’t white!” but you got the idea, right?)

So anyways, I’m sitting there, and the two teenage girls are walking towards the middle of the entrance (where the carts usually go). Let me describe the front entrance: on the far left is 2 doors that you pull on to open, followed on their right to more doors that automatically open (with the little sensor devices), followed by the center where the carts go and then the opposite side is the exit designed the same way.

So they’re walking dead center towards the cart area, where there also happens to be a large sign with the store hours on it. I think to myself, “Surely they’ll see the sign and realize the store is closed…since the DARKNESS inside isn’t a giveaway.”

Sure enough, they are walking closer and I see one of the girls point at the sign with the hours on it. Allright! They’ve figured it out! I start to rejoice on their behalf.

But wait… they are still walking towards the entrance…buh…?

I’m very confused at this point. Can you tell? They’ve seen the sign. They’ve had to have seen the sign, they pointed at it! And the lights? And the fact that there is NO ONE entering or exiting and there is NO ONE inside. They had to have seen that, right?

Apparently not.

They walk up to the doors. Now in most cases, you’d expect people, after ignoring the sign with the hours and the lights all off, would try the doors with handles, find them locked, and move on.

No.

These girls walk up to the automatic doors. They, predictably, do not open. The girls then proceed to stand there for around 15 seconds. 15 seconds! I mean, it doesn’t sound like much, but then when figure that it takes about .5 seconds for the doors to open… that means they spent about 30x more time there than was necessary.

I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I had to drive away, shaking my head.

Morale of the story? Pay attention to your surroundings, you might find there’s a lady in a white ninja car, watching you, all the while laughing to herself.

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