Ever had so much going on in your life, none of it particularly good, that you just honestly didn’t have anything worth saying? Welcome to the past few months of my life!
A few years ago, shortly before Justin and I got married, I wrote this post on my old journal. I come back and visit it often because it holds true to me still. See, I came to the conclusion that my life (at the time) was going really well. I was madly in love with Justin, had an apartment of my own and cats that I loved and a job that made me excited to go to work. But I was far away from religion and God and not where I wanted to be with him. I knew that I needed to get back to church and studying – and not because I had to so that my life would be better but because I wanted to.
It’s taken some time, but last year Justin and I found Legacy Fellowship. And over the past few months we’ve increased our time spent in prayer and study. We started tithing. Following a budget. Slowly, but surely, we are making steps closer to the kingdom and further from the world.
And do you know what’s happened? Our life started sucking.
Really! This has been the worst year I’ve experienced in my adulthood, and it’s FEBRUARY! Between the hospital, my brothers death, being sick (I am STILL sick, by the way, but finally gave in and am taking antibiotics) it’s been a crazy start to the year. I have proclaimed my disdain for 2009 several times already.
But dispite the drama, expensive visits to the doctor and ongoing annoyances, EVERY bible study we have done has aligned itself with some aspect of our life. Literally. Every time I open up “My Utmost for his Highest” and read the daily devotional it has SOMETHING to do with what I’ve been wrestling with. And every time I read the devotional my pastor sends out every day, it somehow relates back to either the same thing, or some other aspect of my life.
So yes, my life kind of sucks right now. But the threads that weave themselves in and out of each aspect of my life remind me of my purpose, my goals, and that I am not alone.
And that’s enough to make it suck a little less.