Dear Benjamin,

Today is your 6th birthday!!!!  The past year has been so much fun, and you’ve grown up so much.  You completed your first year of school (Kindergarten with Ms. Smith) and learned to read.  You learned how to swim (including jumping off the diving board). You’ve continued to learn the piano and had some pretty awesome recitals.


You lost 2 teeth and started wearing glasses (took my breath away the day you lost a tooth and got your glasses, so grown up!)

You’ve gotten stronger, faster, and maybe a little bit kinder.

You try passionately to be a good kid.

We’ve given you quite a bit more responsibility this year.  You’ve got chores that are your job, that we expect you to do.  Things like helping with the dishes, cleaning the living room floor, and feeding the dog.

Overall, I would mark this as a year with lots of growth.

We talked yesterday to you about some of your summer chores – one of which includes a certain amount of reading.  It was pretty clear to us that even though you’d “read” you hadn’t actually retained anything you read.  That was a pretty common thing when we were growing up – especially me – so I told your Dad the way to fix it was to make you read out loud for your “required reading.” You got upset at us; you told us that you didn’t mean to get in trouble, that you were still learning how to be a good reader.  We told you that it was OK, that we were learning how to be good parents, and sometimes we have to adjust the rules so we can all be better. It’s a small lesson, but hopefully one you will take to heart.

You learned a lot more about being a good friend from your time in school.  I saw you talk through problems with your friends, challenge them, and lose with just a TINY bit more grace than you have in years past (you still hate it though).

You have a strong internal desire for others to follow the rules.  Half the times you got in trouble in Kindergarten was because you were getting on to the other kids for not following the rules. You hated rug time because you had to sit criss-cross apple sauce, but you’d sit there patiently with a bubble in your mouth UNLESS you were telling the other kids (who weren’t listening) that they needed to sit down too!

In spite of your rigidness regarding rules, you were well liked and enjoyed by your classmates. You went home frequently lamenting that you were having problems and no one liked you, but over and over again we saw evidence that your classmates adored you.

And, true to family tradition, you were enjoyed by your teachers. They said they’re going to miss you SO MUCH.

You’re finally understanding what a “figure of speech” is.  The past year your literal nature has led to lots of misunderstandings when your Dad and I say things like, “You took the words right out of my mouth!” But yesterday you used that line on Dad, to which he replied “that sounds painful” and you painstakingly advised him that you were just using a figure of speech and you weren’t REALLY taking words out of anyone’s mouth.

It was such a simple thing, but it made me really happy for you – it was a sign that your brain was growing up, right there before my eyes.

You’re slowly starting to see the world around us.  You got kind of upset at us the other day because there was a homeless person panhandling and we didn’t give them any money. We told you we didn’t have any money on us at the time, to which you replied that we needed to have money on hand in case we saw someone who needed help.  You asked about why they were homeless, and what it meant.  You’re going to collect money for your birthday to give to homeless people, since you don’t really need presents.

Your silliness makes life more fun.

There were a few things this year that were very very awesome, where we got to make fun memories. We got to go visit Uncle Alan, Aunt Mandy and Cousin Ethan in Oklahoma. We had a blast!

It rained a bit, and we played video games for a bunch of it, but even for the short trip we had it was memorable.

Also, we went to the NASA space center in Houston.

You love space and rocket ships, so it was especially awesome. We didn’t have nearly enough time, honestly, but even the few hours we got was well worth the time.  We’ll go back as soon as we can!

I love spending time in the kitchen with you. You’re quite a good helper! You can chop vegetables, help stir things as long as they’re not too hot, and most recently you’ve helped me measure and read directions. Cooking with you reminds me of all the happy memories I have of doing that with MY mom, so I’m glad you play along (even though some days you’re just as likely to prefer a few minutes of screen time).

You and Eli have become quite a pair.  He drives you a little crazy, but you obviously love him and dote on him.  You’ve started trying to teach him things, but you also often try to take advantage of him to get what you want.  I can’t blame you, I’m sure I did the same thing with my little brother.


I see so much of myself and your Daddy in your personality. You’ve got my competitive streak and my desire to be a people pleaser. But, you’ve also got your Daddies logic and intellect. You have his intelligence, and right next to it, strong awareness of when you fail to meet your own expectations. We give you frequent reassurances that you’ll get there – you’ll figure it out, you’re still learning how to be a person – heck, sometimes your Daddy and I fail as people, and we’re much older! I just hope you learn to give yourself the same grace that Jesus gives us, the same grace we give you, because loving yourself? Man, kiddo, that’s tough some days.

I have a feeling this is something you’re going to need to hear frequently, so let me just say, for the record: You’re a great kid. You are loved. You are cherished. You got this.

If you ever doubt my love, you’ll have these letters to remind you. I love you Benjamin, and I’m always going to cheer for you, no matter what.



My sweet boy Eli,
Today you turn TWO years old.  You have been such an amazing bright spot in our family and we are blessed to have you!

The past few months have been pretty rough for you – starting around October you started having lots of health issues – runny nose, cough, difficulty breathing… it was pretty awful.

You ended up in the ER and we spent a LOT of time at your Pediatrician’s office.  Luckily Dr. Rose is super sweet and helped us find the best solution for you.  We had to give you breathing treatments – our nebulizer has a fish design on the child’s mask, so you referred to your breathing treatments as “fish!”  We’d tell you, “Eli, it’s fish time!” and you’d come sit in our lap and watch TV while you breathed in medicine to help you breathe.

We’re hoping it doesn’t turn into allergy-induced asthma – next year will be an important year for determining that.  We’ll probably get you allergy tested this year, though, since this is not the first time you’ve had an allergic reaction to something (pretty sure you’re at least a little allergic to sweet potatoes and some chemical in some of my hair products).

You’re a pretty normal 2 year old when you’re sick – clingy and whiny.  When you’re not sick though, you’re very sweet and independent.  You love to help me unload the dishwasher – you stand on the counter and put away the cups and plates. You follow directions and love to be my “helpur.”

You love to play with any sort of vehicle, blocks, little people stuff and footballs.  One night, not too long ago, I brought you a pair of pj’s. You immediately started telling me, “No Mommy, football ones! No! Football ones!” so I brought you the correct pj’s (the ones pictured below) and you said that they were the “right ones.” Seriously. You were very adamant.

You love everyone in the family – you love to list off the names of all the family members including both dogs.  You probably love your brother best of all.

Your cousin Lily stays with us sometimes. You guys play together well, for the most part.  She frustrates you when she doesn’t share (or you don’t want to share and she does) – “LEE LEE NO” you’ll say.

You love to read. We’re currently reading (and re-reading) “There’s no place like space!” and a book about Thomas the Train.  Every day, at nap and at bedtime, like clockwork.  If the mood strikes you right we’ll also read the Cookie book, which is a book about the Cookie Monster throwing a thanksgiving day party. Your favorite books have “cat in hat” on them.

A few months ago you still had a lot of “baby” to you – but not anymore. Now, you’re full toddler. Rambunctious, independent, and fire in your eyes.

You love to eat and drink.

You’ve gotten in to the habit of eating less at dinnertime just like your big brother, but since you eat so much during the day we’re not overly concerned.

You love sweets, just like your Mama.

Your brother started school this year, which means you’ve had more time with just Mommy and Daddy and less interruptions. You’re content to spend it playing quietly or watching TV.  You love PBS and it’s helped you learn SO much.

You can count to 10 and know almost all the letters by sight.  When Super Why asks if you’ll help solve the mystery, you enthusiastically reply “YES!”

You’re such a handsome kid.  When you smile the world lights up.  If you don’t like something, you yell “top” (stop) and put your hand up. Just like Hop on Pop.

You also have some of the best facial expressions.

I think one of my favorite things about you is your laugh. You are quick to smile and quicker to laugh. Everything funny to you is a belly laugh and you always laugh for a long time.

You try desperately to be like your brother and tell knock-knock jokes. This is usually how it goes:

Eli: Knock Knock!
Me: Who’s there?
Eli: Boo hoo hoo
Me: Boo hoo hoo who?
Eli: Cry.. hahahahaha..
Me: Oh, don’t cry it’s just a joke?
Eli: Just joke.. ha ha ha

So much of you reminds me of your Daddy – the way you stare out the window, the quiet way you answer questions, the look you give when you are feeling shy, the way you feel slightly out of place at a busy theme park.

Then sometimes I see myself in you. In your giggle, in the way you hug me, in your dimples.

In your silliness.

Even though I see so much of us in your personality and looks, you’re still a completely new person – a blend completely unlike your brother. You’re such a unique kid with such a great personality.  I can’t wait to see what path you choose – will you seek a path towards football (seriously, you don’t necessarily display any skill, but you’re obsessed with the ball, you sleep with it at night instead of a stuffed animal) or will you find a more creative endeavor? Will you continue leaning towards introversion, or will you join your brother and I in the ranks of extroverted?

Being a parent has been such an adventure.  I’ve never laughed as much as I do with you and your brother, and your Daddy says some days your smile is what gets him through the day.  Thank you for being you, Son, you’re such a blessing to our family.  I love you.


Initial Summary:

Where were you when 2015 began?
At home, with family.  We were celebrating Eli’s first birthday the next day!

Who were you with?
The Sullivan family, Scott family and Breese family!

Was 2015 a good year for you?
Yes.  I had a great year! Not being pregnant, not working night shift, and not having a new baby does wonders for the ability to rest.  There was a lot of work, don’t get me wrong, isn’t there always though? But it was a great year!

What countries/states did you visit?
Justin and I took a cruise with some family to Cozumel, Belize and Honduras.  It was an awesome, relaxing, revitalizing experience.

Did you keep your new years’ resolutions? 
Sort of. Yes, mostly. I wanted to go a year without eating candy – which I mostly did! No candy at Easter or Halloween, which are my two big holidays with stuff I love to eat. However, I did take a day off in May so everyone in the family could eat Wonka candy while watching Willy Wonka – Benjamin and I read the book, and followed it up with the movie.

Did anyone close to you give birth? 
Finally, NO. But next year Cory and Erin will be adding a new baby to the mix!

Did anyone close to you die? 
Not particularly, but one of the Lieutenants that retired from Cedar Park passed away, and that was very sad because he was really an amazing guy.  Also, we lost one of the Fire Department administrators at work, her name was Debbie and she was SO incredibly sweet.  They both will be missed!

What date from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don’t think I have had any particularly standout dates.


What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?
Taught my first “Train the trainer” in February for SAFVIC, which was an AWESOME experience!! Took both boys to their first baseball game in April. Sent my son to school – although that’s really more of a first for him than me!  We bought a truck!

Did you have fun in 2015?

What do you wish you’d done more of?
Found more time to be a Husband and Wife instead of just Mom and Dad.  Being married is a lot of fun, but if you don’t take time to have dates you really miss out on connecting.  I exercised a lot, but I wish I had done more, more consistently.

What do you wish you’d done less of?
I wish I’d been injured/sick less.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 31! We drove out to Houston to visit family. It was a quick turnaround trip, and I ended up offending one of my family members inadvertently, so I spent most of my birthday feeling like absolute crap over a breakfast plan misunderstanding.  That’s the second year I’ve had a bad birthday experience for at least part of the day, so I think next year I’m going to make my husband take me away for the day!  This year he bought me (besides the truck) a nice flannel shawl.

What did you want and get?
Justin and I have needed a vehicle with one more seat for some time, for the times we need to transport 4 kids and 2 adults (which is more often than you’d think). So we debated what to buy and finally pulled the trigger on a 2013 Chevy Silverado with low mileage and leather interior.  I’m in love with it and we’ve already been camping once in it!

What did you want and not get?
Debt free. But my priorities shifted this year, and it is worth it to remain in debt because now I have the vehicle necessary to go camping.  Also, did not get to spend more time outdoors. Spent a lot of time the end of the year working, and unfortunately all the days off I did get were usually bad weather days!


Whose behavior merited celebration? 
Amanda. She doesn’t see me watching, but she’s turning into an incredible young lady.

Whose behavior made you appalled, depressed, or sad?
All the folks that left dispatch (Vanna, Charitie, Jared, Jen, etc) made me very sad.

Did somebody treat you badly in 2015?
Not particularly. I think there were a few situations where Justin wasn’t treated like he expected, and that had a significant impact on me since we’re married – so, sort of, but only as a bystander.

Who were some new people you met?
Vanna, Ginger and Jono.

Favorites/Least Favorites:

What was your favorite month of 2015? 
Probably August.  We took the kids to the beach, Benjamin started school and Justin and I started our cruise (and finished it in September).

What was your favorite moment of the year?
Probably Benjamin starting school, when he looked at me and said he was good for us to leave him. So big!  I’d also have to list Eli finally saying “I love you” back to me!  Also, buying the truck with Justin!

What was your least favorite moment of the year? 
Taking Eli to the hospital because he was having difficulty breathing.  That was stressful and terrifying.

What was your favorite TV program? 
STARGATE! Who’d have thought?

What was the best book you read? 
Tough call. I read a BUNCH of books this year – it’s been really awesome having the kindle, I read so much more.  The most EDUCATIONAL book I read this year was “Parenting your powerful child” by Kevin Leman.  The most ENJOYABLE book I read was Ready Player One. And the book that was the most well written was The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood.

What were your favorite films of this year? 
Big Hero Six (I know I technically saw it for the first time the year before, but I watched it a LOT this year) I also really enjoyed Age of Ultron and Inside Out….I really missed a lot of good movies this year though due to schedule, so hopefully  next year we can watch a few more.

What was your favorite video game you played this year?
Diablo III!

What was your favorite new technology/application?
My fitbit! I got it at Christmas – so not much time to use it – but it’s already been well appreciated!

What was your greatest musical discovery?
I really enjoy the following songs this year:
Maps – Maroon 5
Let her go – Passenger
Honey I’m Good – Andy Grammar
Counting Stars – OneRepublic
Shut up and Dance with me – Walk the Moon
Thinking out Loud – Ed Sheeran

What was the best thing you bought? 


What was your biggest achievement of the year? 
I made some good strides in priority evaluation and I lost quite a bit of weight.  I also received an award at work for “Distinguished Leadership” which is an amazing honor that made me feel recognized in my efforts at improving relations between employee and employer.  I’m so blessed to work where I am, and this award means quite a bit to me.

What was your biggest failure? 
I just can’t eat healthy for nothin’! At least, not consistently.  I keep trying!

Did you suffer illness or injury? 
I got most of my PF under control but broke my ankle (well, hairline fracture, but it still hurt a lot!).  I also got sick ALL of November and half of December with Bronchitis and sinus infections that would NOT end.  Then I had tinitis (ringing in ears) until Christmas morning.  However, it did make me more greatly appreciate my health and I’m going to try really hard next year to spend more time appreciating my good health when it’s around.

Where did most of your money go?
Medical bills. We were crazy sick this year, especially the boys.  School starting and allergies did a number on our wallet!

What kept you sane?
The boys.

Who did you miss?
Friends. All of them.

What did you get really, really, really excited about? 

Compared to this time last year, are you:
I. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner!
iii. richer or poorer? POORER! But – happier. I’m willing to make the trade off.

Did you fall in love in 2015? 
I usually say “over and over again” but I would have to say no – this year was one of the years where we worked hard to maintain – not in a bad way, just in a “we’re in this for the long haul and not every year is all roses” kind of year.

Did you lose anything important this year?
My church.  I’m still feeling the effects. I’m heartbroken and I believe this is the right decision for my family, but it’s not an easy one and I’m so very, very sad.

What was your proudest moment of 2015?
Benjamin’s first piano recital!!!

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2015?
Calling someone “Fellatio” over the radio

Gauge your:
(On a scale of: Very Good, Good, Fairly Good, Fairly Bad, Bad, Very Bad)
• Relational Health – Good
• Emotional Health – Good
• Physical Health – Fairly Good
• Social Health – Very Bad (My status did not change AT ALL in 2015, so I’m downgrading this and planning on working to address this next year!)
• Spiritual Health – Fairly bad
• Intellectual Health – Good
• Financial Health –  Fairly good

In the future:

How will you be spending Christmas? 
Already had it! We spent it at home, with the family, and it was awesome.  Aunt Lynn, James, Teresa and Amanda joined us and there was lots of presents and lots of fun.  We spent the day playing with the boys playing with all their new toys/games.  I got a new Fitbit Charge HR, which I’m looking forward to having!

How will you be spending New Years? 
Not sure – I work at 6am New Year’s day, so we will probably stay in with the family, maybe play some games, and enjoy time with them.

What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015? 
Hmmmm.  I would like some more friendships.  I would like to have a church home – which I did have for most of 2015, but lost at the end.

What are your plans for 2016?
To spend more time outdoors, to get Eli introduced to the potty (not trained, persay, but at least on his way), to get Benjamin riding a bicycle with no training wheels, to log more time on my bicycle, to get my BMI to 27.4 (170 lbs, right in the middle of “overweight” instead of obese. I previously set a goal at the start of 2015 to be at 185 by the end of 2016, but since I made it to 208 by the end of this year I decided to go ahead and aim for lower for the end of next year…we will see!

Will you make any new years resolutions for 2016?
Maybe. I don’t know yet – I am seriously considering taking a year long social media break.

In Conclusion:

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015: 

You only have one life to live. This is it, folks, a few trips around the sun and then you’re dead. I believe this life is just a jumping off point for eternity, and I know not everyone believes that, but either way I believe and really learned this year that you have to make the most of it. Live hard, love harder, work hard, and push yourself. This is the only chance. You’re worth it to make the most of it.

So worry less about the bank account, but save as much as you can.

Try to be as healthy as you can, but enjoy a piece of cake now and again.

Set goals, push yourself, and strive for greatness.

I know that’s all really cliché advice but this year I really realized how true it is.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We’ll be counting stars, yeah we’ll be counting stars

Dearest Eli,

My goodness, my gracious, how time flies when you’re having fun!

I’m not going to lie.  Your baby book looks like a typical second child baby book does: haphazardly filled in, with notes but nothing close to complete.  I guess I need to get a jump on that before your second birthday.  In the interim though, I thought I’d jot down a few notes so I could remember how amazingly awesome you are at this age.

This is when the past 20 months become worth it.  You’ve always had a sweet disposition, but neither Daddy or I are huge “baby” fans.  We like the interaction that started a few months ago and is reaching a new level of awesome from now until… well, I don’t know. At least until you’re 5, I suspect, and probably longer.

At any rate.  Parenting you is such a joy!  You are full of a calm, peaceful energy that sort of brightens the world around you.  You’ve got my dimples and cheeks and your smile can light up a room.  Your energy reminds me a lot of your Daddy –  you’re mostly a solitary creature, but for those close to you it’s an adventure to be in your presence.

I worry, sometimes, because you’re a second child and Mommy guilt sneaks in and tells me that we don’t have enough time  with you one on one, but then you wander over and lay your head on my leg and smile at me and I know that there is love enough, time enough, no matter how busy we get.

You love playing with toys.  You love TV too “TeeVeee pease”, but you also LOVE LOVE LOVE any kind of vehicle.  “Kaaaahs” are frequently called for, as are “tucks!”  Living in a flight path means daily “Paines!” and you’ll even fly the airplane car around and make zoom noises.

Your favorite superhero is the Hulk. Your favorite thing to say is “Hulk! Mash!”

Funny story about that.

You ran around the house yelling “Mush!” for…a while.  Weeks, maybe even months. For the life of us, we could NOT figure out what you were referring to. Mush? Like what you tell dogs in Alaska? Match? Must?

One day, you shook your fist, yelled “MUSH!” and slammed it down. And then it clicked….SMASH. You were trying to say SMASH.


All of a sudden the previous weeks and months took on a much more hilarious filter.  All the times we thought you were trying to get someone’s attention…you were trying to smash!

So Hulk is your favorite and any superhero that wears green is instantly the Hulk, Sorry Green Lantern, but  you’ve been renamed.

Your favorite thing to do in the mornings is swing on the swing set.

You love food… especially “yummies” (gummy vitamins), “gapes”, chips and carrots. You won’t take anything our of our hands, insisting instead that it be taken to the “tay-bul” and set down.

You despair that we don’t let you have more than a tiny sip of coca cola (not going to lie, so does Papa!)

You wave, blow kisses, love playing patty cake (ake! ake!) and give wonderful hugs.  You come up to me sometimes, tiny fists of fury, “Fite!” (usually followed by “MASH!”). You can swing a sword with painful accuracy but still can’t catch a ball (we practice, though!)

You’re a great helper when it’s time for you to get dressed, and let me know when you need changed (you plug your nose and say TIINKEY!)

You’re exceptional at swimming. Seriously, I’ve never seen a kid take to water the way you did this year.  We spent a LOT of time in the pool, and once you got used to it you quickly learned that you could jump in. So you did. A lot! Fearlessly jumping into the deep end was your favorite thing to do, and we’d let you go down into the water and you’d eventually kick yourself up… it made you so happy! You really did intrinsically know to hold your breathe – it was amazing to watch, and it was a lot of fun this year.

You perpetually have a runny nose August-February.

If you’re trying to find something to eat in the fridge, you cross your arms and say “Hmmm!” then you take your index finger and tap your mouth/nose. It’s incredibly adorable.

You pretend to do the Kamehameha Wave (from Dragonball) and it melts your daddies heart.

You tell the dogs to “hush” if they bark too loudly.

You hate bedtime, and can often be found at 10:30 at night playing in the middle of the floor in the dark. You don’t really fuss about bedtime, you just choose to stay awake through it.

You love reading. In fact, there’s not a lot of stuff you don’t like.  You’re not a huge fan of crowds, and you don’t like Sea World if it’s really crowded (or at all for the first few hours) but once you get warmed up to a situation you’re usually fine.

You’re very adaptable, and I’m thankful.  I’m thankful for your smile, your laughter, and the way you love us.  I’m thankful you’re a mover and a shaker and sometimes a dancer.  I’m thankful that even after a long, exhausting day, I’m guaranteed a few snuggles after bath.

I’m thankful for you, Eli, and I can’t wait to watch you grow.


Dear Benjamin,

Happy birthday! I have to tell you son, the years just keep on getting more and more fun.  This year has been a whirlwind of activity and I am so happy to be able to call you mine.

We have been BUSY this year. This was the year of helping others; the year Uncle Jake and Aunt Reba and Chloe and Dakota lived with us for several months; the year Eli started walking (thus increasing your fun!); the year you started Piano lessons, the year you started sleeping on the top bunk.

I don’t even know where to start.

Here are some random facts about YOU at 5 years old:
Your favorite movie is “Big Hero 6”
Your favorite food is Chicken nuggets and fries from Chick Fil A.
Your best friends are Aedan and Kaley and Eli.
You have the best, sweetest prayers to God.

You dressed up as a fire fighter for Halloween, and made a Mario pumpkin (with Mom’s help!)

cutest firefighter ever!!

You’re obsessed with American Ninja Warrior. It’s not just them, though – your favorite superheroes are Thor and the Hulk – because, as you say, “They’re strong!”

We’ve spent a lot of time at Sea World – you love, love, love roller coasters. This season you’re tall enough to go on your own onto the kid rides, so you usually want to go without us.  It’s bittersweet – we’re happy you’re confident and independent, but man, did it have to happen so soon?
Benjamin at Sea World

Your personality has started to shine. You are excited and talkative and happy and talkative and did I mention you like to talk?

I apologize. You are just like I was at your age. Talk talk talk.

You were the ring bearer in your Great-Aunt Charla and Brad’s wedding. You were SO CUTE! And you proved that you are capable of standing still for a small period of time.

We went to your school orientation and you felt the need to tell the teachers all about how you were going to have to go to bed early for school 5 nights a week and how your Mom practices sight words with you and and and… I just sat there laughing.  You reminded me so much of me!

So full of energy and so much to say and bright enough to know you’re smart but also not quite smart enough to know NOT to be a know-it-all.  Hopefully we can instill some grace in you before you go to school.

We have been trying to teach you phonetics, but every time we try, we find out how convoluted the English language really is.

Sorry about that, son.

We have read so many amazing books this year. We read My Father’s Dragon (the trilogy, about 4 times in a row), Wizard of Oz, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Ghost Ship Mystery (Boxcar Children) and we are currently reading Stuart Little.  I tried twice this year to read The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe to you, but you’re just not quite ready for it.  You only have so much patience.

You had a hard time with me going to work this year.  It made you sad, often, which made me sad, but I hope you understand that I do what I do because I can help people, and because we have to pay bills and buy food! Responsibility sucks sometimes.

You love to be in the kitchen with me. I wish we had more time to do it, but when we do, you’re a fantastic helper. You help cut vegetables and bake cookies and anytime I ask, there you are.  You burned yourself this year, your first cooking injury, and you were so impressed with yourself for not crying.

We’ve tried to teach you about the way the world works without breaking you – there’s so much awful things going on in our world right now but we try to focus on the positive. We try to tell you that there’s hope.

You love playing on the Wii and your tablet. You love technology, you love watching videos on YouTube. Your interests mystify your Dad and I, and we constantly struggle with allowing you free time and making sure you’re not abusing it or overusing it. Balance is hard, son, and we struggle with it even to this day.

You love babies. You love everybody, but you have a special place in your heart for the little cousins in your life – especially baby Dakota and baby Lilly. You love to hold them and kiss them and if we have to be careful to remind you not to roughhouse with them.

You love your brother so much it that it fills me to overflowing. I hope you can always be this close.

For Christmas this year you got a swingset, much to your amazement, and it has hands down been the most amazing investment ever. You love to practice “ninja warrior” on it and have perfected the art of swinging/jumping/etc.

You on Christmas Day!

You are such a handsome, happy kid.

This is the last year that we get to keep you to ourselves. This fall, you’ll start Kindergarten. I know it’s time, and I know you’re ready, but I can’t help myself from being so worried that the big, awful world is going to break your spirit.  We’ve tried so hard to teach you about good and bad, to teach you grace, to instill in you a desire to do the RIGHT thing instead of the EASY thing.  I worry it’s not enough, I worry your spirit will be worn down and that you will be beaten with reality like everyone else.  I know it will – it’s part of growing up, it’s necessary, but it’s hurts that I can’t protect you from it.  I want to keep you in a bubble and help you see the world like I see it now.  I want you to skip the tough lessons.  I want you to see the world with it’s beautiful brokenness and then have hope and faith and joy in spite of it all.  However, I know (and your daddy knows) that we have to let you experience heartbreak, success, failure, triumph, and struggle for yourself. We know it’s a necessary right of passage.

That’s why we do things like sign you up for Piano lessons. You love them now, but we know the day will come that you’ll get tired or bored or frustrated and you’ll want to quit. And we won’t let you – and that will be hard for both us and you, but it will be an important lesson to learn. Perseverance in spite of personal preference is hard, but it’s a lesson worth learning.

I hope when you read this – whenever you do – you know that we tried so very hard to give you the tools you needed to navigate this world.  We know it’s insufficient.  We know we’re going to fail you.

But hopefullly the stuff we do right will outweigh the times we make mistakes. Hopefully we teach you grace enough to bear with us as we navigate through the next few years together.  We’ve had some good times, Benjamin, but I suspect the best is still yet to come.

I love you to the moon and back and then back out into the stars,


Dear Eli,
Today you are ONE! 365 days around the sun, 365 days of smiles and laughter!

This morning we woke up and spent some time snuggling. It’s really the only time you snuggle, so I do it every chance I get. After that, we had a dance party in the kitchen while I made you flapjacks and cinnamon rice. Your brother joined us, and we danced and bounced and banged pots and pans to “Let it Go,” “Moves Like Jagger,” “Thinking Out Loud,” and “Shake it Off” among others.

You’re probably the happiest person I know.  You’ve smiled every day since you were born. They say babies don’t smile, at least not in those first few weeks, but you did. And you still do. Every day with you is filled with smiles and laughter and pulling random things out of your mouth. And keeping you away from electrical outlets and plugs and wires. Seriously – your love of scraping things off the floor and into your mouth is only rivaled by your love of trying to electrocute yourself.

You’re really good at independent play. You wander around the house and I’ll stop hearing you…when I go investigate you’re undoubtedly in the playroom with some random toy. Unless someone is in the kitchen cooking, then you want to be where the action is.

You’re not walking yet, but you are crawling and climbing everywhere. Yesterday I caught you on the bottom rung of the ladder for the bunk beds with a huge grin on your face.

I read to you every night. Your favorite is “Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You?” And I’m more than happy to pass on the love for Dr. Seuss!

You love your Noni more than anyone else.

You probably love eating more than you love Noni. I’m not sure if your love of food is quantifiable, actually. It’s really quite impressive how much you eat. We haven’t found anything you don’t like, although squash doesn’t like you. Rocks, too, you even like rocks. To eat.

You love animals and music and rough housing with Daddy. You love getting tossed in the air, and you like to play with Little People by putting them in your mouth.

You are adorable and beast like. If you get frustrated or angry or over tired you throw a fit and scunch up your face and raise your lip all Elvis-like and it’s pretty incredible.

If you had a spirit animal, it would be a tasmanian devil.

Your nicknames are “Bouk’m” and “Bouk-a-dactyl”. Bouk was the noise Daddy would make when he bonked your nose, and it was the first time you smiled at him.

You are loud. I’m sure it’s so you can be heard in the chaos that is our home, sometimes I am in the kitchen and you just start screaming and yelling like you’re saying hello.

You have such strong emotions. I know I have mentioned how happy you are, but also how angry and upset you can be. You feel everything so strongly, even at this early age. I hope we are equipped to help you wade through such passion as you age.

Even at your angriest, even at your saddest, even every day, you bring us such joy. We are blessed to know you, son, and I can’t wait to watch you over the next year.




It’s that time again!  Here is last years, if you’re so inclined. Also, I realized that this is my 12th year doing some form of a “Year in Review” thing, and it’s probably one of the things I look to the most around this time of year.  I love reflecting on the wonderful things I’ve accomplished (or not accomplished) and all the amazing things that I’ve been able to experience.  Is it all roses? No way. BUT. It is definitely worth the investment of a few hours (I tend to work on mine periodically through the year, if I remember).  Here’s to 12  years more!!

Initial Summary:

Where were you when 2014 began?
Sitting in the hospital room with my BRAND NEW BABY next to me and my husband sleeping on the couch in front of me.  I was awake, I whispered, “Happy New Year,” and then went back to bed.

Who were you with?
Eli and Justin.

Was 2014 a good year for you?
Yes.  But it was also hard.  When I think about this year there was a LOT of joy.  There was a lot of work, though too.  This was one of those years that we said over and over and over again, “this is just the season we are in. This too shall pass.” The season of small kids, while full of love and usually laughter, is also full of sheer, absolute, exhaustion.

What countries/states did you visit?
Visited Tennessee in the spring to visit a sick grandmother, and then in the fall for Charla and Brad’s wedding.  I also flew to Albuquerque New Mexico to teach and had some of the BEST MEXICAN FOOD HANDS DOWN THAT I HAVE EVER HAD. Ahem.

Did you keep your new years’ resolutions? 
I didn’t make any! I had a newborn and a toddler, are you kidding? I think I said I’d be doing good just to keep up, and that was definitely a theme this year. I kept up. Barely.

Did anyone close to you give birth? 
Yes! My sister Sherry gave birth to her daughter Aurora on February 26th.  Taryn had baby GoGo on May 21st.  Reba and Jake had their second baby, Dakota on December 2nd.  My friend Catie had a little girl named Laney as well, who tragically passed away after only a few days old.  Samantha and my brother-in-law Brian had baby Lily on December 22nd.  Lots of babies this year!

Did anyone close to you die? 
Laney. A beautiful little girl who lived only 7 days.

What date from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Seeing Reba give birth to Dakota will probably be one of the highlights.  Hard to forget watching someone be born.


What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?
Had two kids! Went to a child’s funeral.  Was flown out of state to teach at an APCO/NENA conference – which was like, one of my life goals.

Did you have fun in 2014?
Yeah. It was an exhausting year, though.

What do you wish you’d done more of?
Spent more time with my kids and husband. This year was a lot of work, and none of it was excessive to the point that I was neglecting my family more than absolutely necessary, I just like my kids and hubby and wish I’d spent more time with them.   If I had to pick one thing though, I would say I wish I had been able to have more dates with my husband.

What do you wish you’d done less of?
I wish I hadn’t needed so much sleep.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 30! I was hoping to do something exciting, but alas, it wasn’t to be.  I worked.

What did you want and get?
I wanted new shoes to help my plantar fasciitis. Aunt Lynn hooked me up – thanks again!! I wanted a new fridge and a new TV in 2014 – both of which I got! The fridge is pretty incredible – ICE WHENEVER I WANT IT! – and the TV was a Christmas gift that is definitely getting used!  I also really really really wanted a special edition LOTR book, and got that.

What did you want and not get?
A year without any major injuries!!  Not having to go to night shift!!


Whose behavior merited celebration? 
Benjamin’s. I love that kid. He’s becoming such a great big brother.

Whose behavior made you appalled, depressed, or sad?
In a year that has hit my coworkers and I with such sadness and mourning it’s hard to pinpoint any particular person. Society as a whole has made me very sad.  And worried.

Did somebody treat you badly in 2014?
Yes, but such is life.

Who were some new people you met?
Marlaina, Hope and Jessi.

Favorites/Least Favorites:

What was your favorite month of 2014? 
June!  I took several weeks off of work, my family came up to visit, it was Benjamin’s 4th birthday. Lots of good stuff.  It was the last month on day shift, so everything pretty much went downhill after that until December.

What was your favorite moment of the year?
My first day back on dayshift, haha! Night shift really killed me.  I had a lot of favorite moments. Seeing Amy was definitely near the top. Benjamin getting his swing set was pretty great.

What was your least favorite moment of the year? 
The multiple moments dealing with the emotional aftermath of a rough call at work.  Nothing like waking up in a cold sweat after horrible nightmares, night after night, while your brain tries to process the terrible actions committed by broken people.

What was your favorite TV program? 
Been re-watching Full Metal Alchemist, and that’s been pretty awesome.

What was the best book you read? 
I actually read a lot this year, thanks to my Kindle.  Probably “The Girl Who Circumvented Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making” AND “My Father’s Dragon”.  The first was a book for me, the second, a book for Benjamin.  We read it a LOT over the year and thoroughly enjoyed it each time.

What were your favorite films of this year? 
Guardians of the Galaxy for SURE.  We’ve probably watched it half a dozen times.

What was your favorite video game you played this year?
Mario Kart 8!

What was your favorite new technology/application?
Not new technology, but I really love our Wii.  It’s been a lot of fun!

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Thinking out loud” by Ed Sheeran.

What was the best thing you bought? 
The fridge!


What was your biggest achievement of the year? 
I did really good the first half of the year being healthy.

What was your biggest failure? 
The second half of the year, when all my healthy behaviors fell apart when I got injured AND moved to night shift.

Did you suffer illness or injury? 
Plantar Fasciitis.  The bane of my existence.  Started shortly after I started going to the gym regularly…and it sucks. It ruined most of my summer/fall – I was in too much pain to do ANYTHING.

Where did most of your money go?
After bills and groceries, diapers, wipes, and shoes to combat my PF and a fridge… I don’t know.

What kept you sane?
Knowing that I had to stay sane – we couldn’t all go crazy.  Knowing that this is a season, and it’s a busy and hard season, and we will miss parts of it when it’s over.

What political issue stirred you the most? 
I’m deleting this question for next year. I never like to talk politics in my blog.

Who did you miss?
My sisters. Amy. I got to see Amy though, even though it was just briefly!

What did you get really, really, really excited about? 
Jake and Reba moving to Austin, my Christmas presents (especially the Evenstar and LOTR special edition book, hubby did GOOD this year!!)

Compared to this time last year, are you:
I. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner, but only because I’m not 9 months pregnant. I really need to work on that…
iii. richer or poorer? POORER

Did you fall in love in 2014? 
Over and over again!

Did you lose anything important this year?
Does faith in society count?  That’s not true; not really, but it has been difficult to see the news lately. So much brokenness, so much media manipulation.  We forget that the news media is full of someone’s interpretation of events, and that behind every criminal and every cop are two people who are probably not nearly as bad as we think they are, but who are a combination of their circumstances, their decisions, their heart, their soul, their families… and both of them have worth. Both of them are humans with souls that were given a chance in life.  The fact that some make bad decisions is regrettable; but I think we forget their humanity (and our own) when watching the news and commenting on it.  So I guess I lost my hope that the news media could be unbiased – although I knew it before, I’ve seen such blatant manipulation of facts that I’m just incredibly disheartened by it.

What was your proudest moment of 2014?
Teaching in New Mexico.

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2014?
I have no idea.  Luckily I let go of these things pretty easily…

Gauge your:
(On a scale of: Very Good, Good, Fairly Good, Fairly Bad, Bad, Very Bad)
• Relational Health – Very Good
• Emotional Health – Fairly good
• Physical Health – Fairly bad
• Social Health – Bad (I don’t do ANYTHING besides work/family/coffee with Leslie x1/week IF I’M LUCKY)
• Spiritual Health – Good
• Intellectual Health – Good
• Financial Health –  Fairly good

It seems to me, each year, that one of these things is bad. Balance is a terrible, terrible thing.

In the future:

How will you be spending Christmas? 
Already had it! We spent it at home, with the family, and it was awesome.  We got Benjamin, Chloe and Eli a swing set (Well, it’s really for Benjamin and Eli, but Chloe gets it too since she lives with us) and they LOVED it. Benjamin is just big enough – he learned how to swing on his own, and spent HOURS out there on Christmas.  We had lots of family visit.

How will you be spending New Years? 
NYE will be with my family since it’s Eli’s first birthday! Speaking of, I’ve got to get a jump on his birthday letter… anyways. The next day I work in the morning, and then I’ll spend some time with Charla and Brad, who will be in town up from Houston. Yay for family!

What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014? 
Dancing lessons. That was my Christmas present for 2013, but I had to go to night shift so Justin never had the chance to deliver.  Also, more financial stability.

What are your plans for 2015?
I’ve got some work goals and home goals, and my plans are to work towards my goals. Hah!

Will you make any new years resolutions for 2015?
Nope. I’m making goals independent of the new year. I might make a “New Years Goal” to not buy any candy in 2015, like I did in previous years but failed at.

In Conclusion:

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014: 

Night shift sucks when you have a family and a baby who doesn’t sleep through the night and a husband who desperately needs sleep and time to get out of the house.

Also, organization is absolutely critical to success.  This last month I’ve started journaling some goals and tasks to help keep track of life and it’s been pretty awesome.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: 

Baby, it’s 3am I must be lonely.

(This really is so accurate – between breastfeeding the first 6 months and then night shift, I was awake and without my husband a lot)

When I was a young girl, my Mom showed me a picture of my Nanny (her mother) as a child with her family.  She showed me the people who had committed suicide; the people who were alcoholics, the people who had fought battles and lost.

She looked at me and said: “The cycle stops here. With us.” She told me and she hugged me, she said we were going to be different, that we would succeed where others failed.

I lost her, too.  Just a few years after that conversation.

I sometimes wonder if in her fight to escape she forgot that she also had to fight to live.

There are echos of generational brokenness scattered across our culture.  I’m not talking about “generational curses” that were talked about in the Old Testament. I’m talking about an alcoholic family producing alcoholic children because that is all they know.  Or an abusive husband who raises a son who is an abuser too.

Generational brokenness is everywhere when you start to look.  I see it when I see local stories of families destroyed by two generations worth of bad decisions that cumulate in tragic loss.  I hear echos of it in the voice of a man who shoots his daughter and 6 grandchildren.  I saw it when my father shot my mother and I see it when I look at my husband and my children and I know that we have to fight.

I can’t speak to your story – I can only speak about mine.  And I know that in mine there are generations and generations of brokenness.  I bring alcoholism, suicide and domestic violence with me into my marriage with my husband. He brings alcoholism and bi-polar depression.

We bring ourselves, and written on our spirits are fingerprints of the past.

For better or for worse we are children of the generation before us.

Where then, is our hope?

What then, can save us?

I don’t have all the answers.  I can only guess. But here are a few things I can tell you.

  1. Being aware is crucial – I grew up knowing that my parents were fighting against the bad things they had learned from their parents, just like their parents surely had fought against the bad things they learned from theirs.  Each generation the combination changed.  I didn’t see my parents alcoholism until the last few years of their life, but I grew up seeing their domestic violence (not that I realized it at the time).  I grew up from age 5 knowing the effects of suicide.  Being aware helps you actively fight against it.
  2. You have to actively fight against it – I can only speculate, but I suspect that my parents actively fought against the errors of their predecessors for a very long time until they slowly stopped fighting as hard. And eventually, day by day, they got a little bit more lax, until finally they stopped.  And it was when they stopped that darkness took over and it wasn’t long before they went too far and lost their lives.  Fighting is the only option.
  3. It’s not easySometimes it is exhausting.
  4. Where there is brokenness, grace abounds – God is, thankfully, much bigger than the broken situation we find ourselves in.  Nothing is too shattered for Him.  Romans 8:1 says “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

2 Corinthians 2:17 says “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

I don’t know if I can successfully fight the brokenness I’ve learned from my parents.  But I do know that I’m going to fight it at every corner, at every turn, and work hard to stay aware of it. I’m going to keep myself accountable to my husband, and vice-versa, because together we are stronger.

And at the beginning of every day, I’m going to try to lean on God.  Because it is exhausting to fight, and he is strong.  Life makes me despair, but with him I feel hope.

Ephesians 6:10 reminds me to “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.”

He is our greatest hope.

Dear self,
Yesterday you turned the big 3-0. Thirty.  Take a deep breath. That’s right. You are officially out of your 20’s.

Your 20’s were good to you. They brought you your husband. Your kids. Your career. Your passion.

But they were rough, too. The loss of your brother, your parents. Chronic sinus problems. Back trouble. Bad feet.

You’ve had some good times – times you’ve laughed until you’ve cried, times you’ve cried until you laughed.  Sometimes those events were the same day!  There’s been lots of lessons learned.  Lots of friends made, and more than a few you’ve lost touch with over the years.  You’ve learned relationships are tough.  Sometimes really tough.  Tough just to keep going – tough to put the extra work in to keep the flame alive.  But oh, so very, very worth it.

I guess I wanted to write you this to give you some advice. Advice you probably won’t listen to, but you’ll nod and smile and say you’ll listen, and I wanted to write it out here so there were witnesses, so to speak.  So here it is. The big advice for you going into your 30s:  Do hard stuff.

Life is hard.  Marriage is hard. Parenting is hard. Friendships are hard. Work is hard. Faith is hard. Cleaning is hard. Downtime is hard.

Cooking is hard to find time for in light of all that other stuff.

Be kind to yourself – but also, be good at doing hard stuff, because at the end of the day that’s really what life is about.  Dig in to the moment, be present and real with people.  Acknowledge that you’re doing something hard, and then do it.  Give yourself a break when you fail, because you’re going to. Just be ready for it.  Every day you’re going to wake up with 57 things to do and you are going to fail to do most of them.

Try to do them anyways.  Don’t half-ass it, either, because who wants half-ass attention? No one. So do one thing really good. And then do another, and another, and another.  You may end up with 14 good things by the end of the day. Awesome. You did good.  You failed at 43 things, but they don’t matter because you rocked at 14 things.

When you turn 30 (if you’re me) you start to think about your legacy.  At the end of my life I want to be known as someone who was real.  Someone who had to dig her way through life with broken nails and tear stains and dirty tennis shoes who was a real person to the people she interacted with.  I don’t want people to think I’m something I’m not. I’m a mess – just like every other human being on this messy broken earth.

By the grace of God I’d like to fight against that brokenness – the brokenness that destroyed my parents, the brokenness that threatens to take others every day… I’d like to BE KIND and DO HARD STUFF because it helps fix some of that brokenness. And if on any given day I can only do 14 good things, or even just 1 good thing, it means the world is that many more things better than it was yesterday.

My dearest Benjamin,

You are 4 years old!! FOUR! You’re such a big kid!  I’m so grateful for the boy you are becoming.  You’re a good kid – polite and kind, and usually using manners.  We had a lot of fun this year.  Last year you learned you had a baby sibling on the way…and we worked pretty hard to prepare you.  We spent a lot of time with you before your brother joined the family – hanging out, going to the park, taking trips to Houston and swimming any chance we got.

sep 18 park
sept 14 park
april 10 kemah

You potty trained in year 3 – right after your birthday – and as we promised, you got to go to the Zoo.  We told you that only big boys got to go to the zoo, and so as soon as you were using the potty consistently we went.  It was awesome!  You had a lot of fun and your favorite part was the aquarium and the gorillas.

zoo july 19

You got to spend a lot of time with your adopted siblings, Aedan and Kaley.  They have been such a blessing to you, and you to them.  You play so much harder when you have friends to play with, and it’s been good preparedness for working and living with other kids.

april 25 kids
cookies sept 28

We decided to try to discipline you by offense – different things for safety violations, rudeness and attitude.  It’s been pretty effective, and when you’re in a good mood you’re incredibly polite and pleasant to be around.

We were reading a story the other day and there’s a part about “a yellow see-saw built for two.”  But Mom, you asked me, aren’t ALL see-saws built for two?!

oct 14 stylish

You get your literalness from your dad.

Some of the highlights this year for me was Halloween and Christmas.  You dressed like an astronaut for Halloween, and it was adorable.  I let you carve your own pumpkin with awesome results – you thought it was the most amazing thing EVER. Seriously, you obsessed about it.  It was so sad when it rained before Halloween and was ruined.

OCT 20 pumpkin
oct 31 2
oct 31

Christmas this year was interesting.  Your dad and I… we’re not big fans of Santa.  Not that we outright hate him or anything, we just never really got into the concept of deception (and don’t get me started on the Elf on the shelf nonsense).  BUT – we recognize that some kids want to pretend, and that’s what you said you wanted to do.  We talked about how Santa is a pretend guy that some people pretend is real, and that it’s OK if we want to do that.  So mid December we’re out shopping at the mall (actually, I was pregnant and going stir crazy and needed to walk) and I realize a moment too late that we’re about to pass Santa.  And you want to go meet him! And take your picture! So… we did.  And I’m so glad, because you look totally adorable.  I’m still not sure if you actually believe in Santa or not – you change your mind whenever we talk about it – but we’re content to let you do your thing.

dec 13 christmas

You played Soccer for the first time ever this year.  Winter and Spring seasons at the Y with your best friend Aedan.  It was a pretty awesome experience for you; and you were glad when it was over.

jan 18 soccer
april 26 soccer

We spent a lot of time playing games, electronic and otherwise, and we’ve learned something important about you.

You HATE losing.

Like, A LOT.

nov 16 ducky momo


I sympathize so much with you, because I was the same exact way as a kid.  I didn’t understand letting other people win; why do that? What was the point?  If someone happens to win Chutes and Ladders you collapse into sobs, “But I wanted to win!!!!!”  So far talks about letting people take turns winning falls on deaf ears; but I can’t really blame you.  I’m almost 30 and still like to win.

So sometimes we do other things, like make cookies – you’re quite helpful in the kitchen!

dec 9 cookie

You had your first real beach trip – real because it was the first time you were really old enough to hang out and play and put your toes in the water.  Your favorite part was throwing sand.

oct 26 beach

You’re the most articulate kid I know.  There’s a lot of stuff you haven’t figured out yet – you don’t like letters very much and have little interest in reading.  Other kids are more advanced in some ways.  But you are an excellent orator.  Your tone gets you in trouble sometimes, “Mommy, I KNOW!” but for the most part I just enjoy being able to have conversations with you.

MAR 29 hockey

You’re curious about everything and we do our best to answer every “why” – even though sometimes we just have to ask you to stop.

nov 4

I think one of the best things about this year was watching you grow into a sibling. Your tenderness and love (and sometimes roughness) with your little brother Eli is pretty much the most amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed in my life.  You love him SO much.  Even though he cries, even though he smells, even though he takes up SO much of my time.  You love him.  Sometimes you insist in taking a turn sitting in my lap (which I almost always try to oblige) but for the most part you understand that he’s a baby and that there are things you get to do that he doesn’t.  I know one day you guys will fight and argue, but for now there’s so much love.

jan 6 eli
april 26 brothers

june 3 feeding

When you get in trouble we tell you that we’re correcting you because we want to help you be a better person. We tell you that we want you to be a good kid, and that you ARE a good kid, and that some times good kids do bad things – but what’s important is that we keep trying to do good things so the good outweighs the bad.  You tell me you’re trying, and that’s all I need to know.
sept 14 park 2

I love you so much, son.  Your smile and hug and big ears and questions and fish faces. I love you, I love you, I love you.

june 15 cake
june 15th