You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Holidays’ category.
So for lent, all the things I gave up, I failed at. I did not increase my prayer time, I did not read my bible more. I did not grow closer to God. I did not stop checking facebook, I just stopped posting. I did not cut out my sweets, I just didn’t go out of my way to eat them. I did not stop watching TV with my son, the whole family got sick and that was all we could do. With just two weeks left I’m calling this Lent a spectacular disaster.
I suppose, though, that if I look at it honestly – I did become more aware of my utter brokenness. I am now, more than ever, aware that I fail at being good on my own. So I guess it wasn’t a complete disaster. In fact, I suppose, I kind of actually accomplished something in my failure. Or maybe I’m just saying that to feel better. Who knows?
I guess I’ll just keep being me, and keep trying (and failing) and eventually, maybe, I’ll get the hang of this thing called faith. If not, it will probably continue to be quite an adventure…
Almighty and everlasting God,
you hate nothing you have made
and forgive the sins of all who are penitent:
Create and make in us new and contrite hearts,
that we, worthily lamenting our sins
and acknowledging our wretchedness,
may obtain of you, the God of all mercy,
perfect remission and forgiveness;
through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns
with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
1979 Book of Common Prayer (source)
My prayers are tiny and my soul weary; I look forward to Lent for the renewal of my spirit.
I think this year I will observe Lent. I found a great set of questions on Rachel Held Evan’s blog that helped me make the decision to do so. I really like her (and her blog), even more now that I know she agrees with one of my basic tenets I hold close to my heart: that really, everyone is broken.
I had already been thinking about Lent this year, thinking about changing a behavior, thinking about the timing, thinking a lot of things. When I saw that RHE’s feed had a post on ideas for Lent I was all ears. The first question I read on her list almost knocked the breath out of me:
When I wake up on Resurrection Sunday morning, how will I be different?
Well. In all the times I have observed Lent, I don’t think I ever took the time to ask myself that question.
Growing up in a Pentecostal church gave me a pretty decent grasp of the bible, but did not help me learn anything about the history of the church. I mean that seriously. We never learned about the differences between catholic and protestant, or about how communion is different in different churches, or why some people baptise and some sprinkle. For the most part that stuff wasn’t even on my radar at all.
Over the past, say, 10 years or so, I have met many people who have opened my eyes to a different way of looking at my faith: a way that is steeped in history and culture. While I find it creates for a much messier faith, I think it is also much more beautiful. Over those ten years I have attended pentecostal churches, non-denominational churches, emerging churches, catholic churches, episcopal churches, baptist churches, and methodist churches. Each one had its purpose to increase my education and help shape me into the person I am now. Each church helped shape my faith in a different way.
So now, even though I attend a baptist church, I still keep in mind the little bit of education on Church traditions and history I’ve gotten over the years. For instance, even though my current church doesn’t follow it, I love the church calendar. I fell in love with it when I attended one of the Episcopal churches in Houston. I love how each church season creates a new focus in your walk with Christ. How we focus on Jesus’ sacrifice building up to Easter and we celebrate his birth in Advent. The first time I received ashes on Ash Wednesday I spent the rest of the evening feeling like I was walking on holy ground – or better yet, as if my body was marked as holy. I never knew there could be so much holiness in an action, but I found that there was.
While I try to observe the church calendar I don’t always have it all figured out. Like others, I’m sure, I am learning as I go. I always viewed Lent as a way to put myself in Jesus’ shoes when he fasted 40 days in the wilderness. I knew it was supposed to make me a better person and draw me closer to God, but those goals have always been pretty undefined.
The question: “How will I be different?” makes me look at Lent as more than just the very generic “self-improvement” or “exercise in holiness.” Suddenly I don’t want to look at Lent either of those things, or even as a time for me to give up my bad habits (I should give those up anyways) but more as a time to remove something from my life in the hope that after 40 days without it I might possibly be more Christ-like. Suddenly my priority has shifted from looking internally in a selfish way, but looking internally in a holy way. I like this.
With all this in mind, I’ll spend the next few days praying and trying to decide what to “give up.” I think I’m going to go to one of the local churches that has a Ash Wednesday service, too, since I don’t think mine will have one. I don’t know that I necessarily “look forward” to the next few weeks, but I do hope they are helpful to me in the long run. We shall see.
In honor of Valentine’s Day (which I actually thing is a lame holiday) I saw a few bloggers I read doing this and I thought I’d join them and tell you guys a bit about my hubby and I!
1. How long have you and your significant other been together?
Justin and I started dating in August, 2006. Our first date was a baseball game!
2. How did you meet?
I worked with this lady named Charla at my old job who had two kids. We hung out and became friends and before too long I was going to her house to hang out with her kids, go to dance recitals, go to ballgames, that sort of thing. Her nephew moved in with her a while after we became friends to help with childcare. Her nephew was this moody guy who didn’t talk a lot who was a little older than I was. He was completely off my radar but Charla kept telling me about how funny and nice and clever her nephew was. I would occasionally talk to him at one of the kids ballgames. He slowly became more of a person and less of a fly on the wall, and one day I realized that there was a lot more to him than met the eye.
3. If married, how long have you been married?
We got married July 24th, 2007, this year will be 5 years! Woohoo!
4. Where did you get married? Big or small wedding?
We got married at the Arch of Reno wedding chapel in Reno, NV. We eloped, so it was a ridiculously small wedding.
5. Do you have any nick-names that you call one another?
Not really anything other than the usual sweetie, darling, honey, etc.
6. 3 things that I love most about Justin.
Only 3?! Ok here goes:
1. The lines around his eyes when he smiles.
2. His spaghetti.
3. His passion.
7. How did he propose?
We were sitting in Arby’s eating and talking about our future and we had both kind of expressed the knowledge that we would spend the rest of our lives together. We were talking about paying for expensive things like wedding and Justin asked me, “We should just elope” and I said “sure.” It’s not the most romantic proposal you’ll ever hear, but it is one that is perfect for us.
8. Flowers and teddy bear or strawberries, champagne and rose petals for Valentine’s Day?
I don’t really put too much stock in Valentines’s Day. I can appreciate presents and romance and stuff, but I think it’s silly to only do it one day a year. It puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on guys to buy their significant other something to represent their feelings. I like taking a day to celebrate love, but I’d much rather get a present on a random Thursday for no particular reason (other than my awesomeness).
9. What makes ‘us’ work?
I could say honesty and communication (and those are both true), but the real truth is that “we” work because we balance each other out. I’m a perpetually happy, outgoing, slightly OCD, way over scheduling, over planning type-A person. Justin is the absolute opposite. He is a bi-polar introvert who has little desire or ability to envision the future and literally lives for the now. I could plan every single day of my life down to the minute and be perfectly happy. If Justin doesn’t have alone time and unscheduled time he gets cranky and stressed.
In some situations one would think being polar opposites would work to our detriment, but in our case it helps us out. Justin forces me to slow down and breathe because I have to “plan” downtime and make it a priority in our life. Sometimes it drives me crazy but it is always beneficial. And I force Justin to accompany me on social calls – dinner dates and parties and social gatherings. Which he usually hates, but he goes and knows it is good for him.
I think if we summarized our relationship that would be the best way to do it. We’re good for each other. He is the yin to my yang.
10. Most romantic thing Justin has ever done for me?
Depends on how you define romance. He once accompanied me to a fancy restaurant and dressed up and had a miserable time at my expense. A few days after we got married, he surprised me with a stunning necklace I had admired in the store previously. Is that romance? Really?
How about this: He rubs my feet after a long day even though he’s tired. He kisses me, and holds my hand. When certain songs come on the radio and I say “Baby dance with me,” he will, even if we’re cooking dinner, even if the baby is fussing and there’s chaos in the house (which there usually is)… he will take me in his arms and dance with me as if I’m the only girl in the world. At night in the summer when it’s too hot to lean against each other our pinkies intertwine. At night in the winter he moves his legs so I can place my ice cold feet against them so I can warm up. He let me play Skyrim first. To me, that’s more romance than dinner or a necklace or flowers.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Dedicated to my lovely Comm Manager who inspired this project, with special thanks to my coworkers for assisting.
“Our Favorite Things”
{Dispatch Version}
Cops that are helpful and friendly to dispatch
Sun on our days off and radios that aren’t patched
Bosses that love us with halos like rings
These are a few of our favorite things
Getting the scoop when they come in from Show-up
Creatures that Animal Officers bring up
Spider, snake, dog and an owl that sings
These are a few of our favorite things
Christmas when citizens offer us cookies
Knowing a tiny bit more than the rookies
Finding a suspect with 3 cell phone pings
These are a few of our favorite things
When the phones ring
When the guys scream
When we’re feeling mad
We simply remember our favorite things
And then we don’t feel so bad
© 2011 Jennet Sullivan
Dear Benjamin,
Today you are a year old. 365 days of laughter and tears, 365 days of poopy diapers and more than a few days of 2am wake ups.
The day we took you home from the hospital we were tired and terrified and excited. You were so tiny, so fragile, so precious. Your head was unusually dinosaur looking (think: Coneheads or a T-Rex head) but it really was love at first sight. Well, it was love, but it came with a huge amount of terrifying responsibility.
One of my favorite memories was from the moment we took you inside the house. I came in and greeted Lucky, petting him and reassuring him that he was loved. Then we introduced him to the “newest member of the pack” – you. I hope that when you’re old enough to read this you’re also old enough to remember Lucky. He has been your bestest friend this past year. He would prance around you when you laid in the floor as a babe and at night time he would snuggle with us at the foot of the bed. When you were colicky, he would walk along side us as we wore a path through the living room, dining room, and kitchen. If we were rocking you he would lay at our feet, or just outside your door. He gives you kisses unconditionally and with fervour. Although those first few months were mainly one-way affection the scales have slowly shifted. Now you drop your lunch for him, you crawl after him, and you like to “pet” him. Sometimes your petting is more like hitting him and almost poking his eyes out, he doesn’t seem to mind too much.
I love how independent you are becoming. You will play by yourself for minutes at a time and sometimes I watch you, with your face in total concentration, and I can’t help but smile. You’ll look around to make sure I’m nearby and then go right back to what it is you were doing. Here recently it’s been blowing bubbles in the pool, or banging pots in the kitchen floor, or chasing the dog around the coffee table. You throw yourself wholeheartedly into whatever it is you’re doing and I know part of that is just being a baby, but I can’t help but hope that some of that is a glimpse of the passion you’ll feel later on in life.
I hope the clingy flailing around and screeching when you don’t get your way is something you grow out of.
You’ve started taking steps here and there. The other day when you walked in the kitchen to me I was so proud of you!! I swept you up and covered you in kisses… and you did the usual “ok, ew Mom, I get it, let me down now..”
The good outweighs the bad, but sometimes there is bad. Not everything is roses and butterflies. You occasionally have bouts of insanity where you scream and yell about… everything. Sometimes I just want you to go away for 5 minutes so I can have some peace and quiet. Sometimes you’re teething so bad your fingers are permanent fixtures in your mouth and you’re crying and there’s nothing we can do but hold you as you cry. And when I spend time working on your meal just to see you unceremoniously dump it upside down on the floor…. well sometimes I want to thunk you in the forehead for that.
You love speed. Scared me half to death the other day when scooting down the stairs… you were having so much fun and going SO fast and then lost your balance and tumbled backwards. Thank God your Nanny was behind you to catch you! I hope you keep your love of speed… but gain some caution too. There is such a thing as too fast!
You hate sitting still… which makes diaper time a wrestling match I’ll be glad to say goodbye to.
I love you in the morning. There’s this period in between when you wake up and when we go into your room that you have a conversation with yourself. You talk and squeal and play, content to simply be. It’s hard to be upset when you’re that happy. For that matter it’s hard to be mad at you at all, even when you’re acting cranky and screaming and throwing yourself onto the concrete because I know it’s just a phase, and this too shall pass, and I kind of cherish the bad because it makes the good that much better.
I love hanging out with you outside. If you had your way, we’d spend all day out there. Even in the heat of the day you want to be outside in the sunshine or the pool. Winter time is going to devastate you.
When I was a kid I used to dream about having a family. I never could quite picture it because I hadn’t met you or your Daddy yet. Now that I have, I realize I didn’t dream big enough. I never imagined your kinship with Lucky. I never imagined the heart wrenching feeling when you dive head first towards the edge of a brick in front yard. I never imagined laughing so hard when you decide that anything you can fit your bottom in – whether it be a dog bowl or a bird bath – is fair game as your personal swimming pool. I never imagined how it feels when you wrap your arms around me or when you scream MAMAMAMA from the other room.
I knew having a family would be an exercise of love; I don’t know that I fully realized the adventure that accompanies it.
I guess what I’m trying to say, Benjamin, is that I love you and I’m glad you’re in my life.
Love,
Your Mamamamamama
My husband and his brothers are Irish. Every year since I’ve known them we have celebrated St. Patrick’s day in some form or another. It is always a great day filled with much fun. We can usually expect some good Irish music, corned beef and cabbage, drinking, laughing, joking, story telling and a usually a little bit of fighting. They’re the kind of Irish that are proud to be Irish for various different reasons – and it shows. They’re tough, independent, fierce individuals who care deeply and are passionate about the things important to them.
So today’s Miscellaneous Monday is in honor of Brian, who will give you the shirt off your back and work tirelessly alongside you if you need him to. And Cory, who is passionate about integrity and honor and strength of character. And Justin, who is my favorite of them all (after all, he IS my husband) who consistently shows me a dedication to the things that are important to him and integrity when it counts – when (he thinks) no one else notices.
Today is about all things Irish in preparation of March 17th. Enjoy!
Traditions!
Beauty and Bedlam – St. Patricks day tradition ideas – Some cute ideas, LOVE the penny idea. We’ll be doing that as soon as Benjamin is old enough to know not to eat them 
Food!
Guinness Corned Beef and Cabbage – A basic idea of dinner in our house on St. Patrick’s day.
Soda Bread – If you know me, you probably know how much I adore a good bread. Here you can learn way more than you ever wanted to about soda bread. And for the record, I lean towards the pure soda bread without any fruits or sweeteners.
Drink!
Tullamore Dew Irish Wiskey – If you’re drinking, this is a good choice.
Music!
– Great Big Sea! A live version, so I apologize in advance, but this is pretty much a classic Irish song. Period.
– by a band called Gaelic Storm. This song makes me giggle every time I hear it.
– This song makes me tear up and I loves it.
– My favorite Dropkick Murphy’s song, period.
I could do this for hours, so let me just name off a few more: Rocky Road to Dublin by Gaelic Storm, Star of the County Down by Mackeel, Fields of Anthenry by Dropkick Murphys, Mountain Dew by The Clancy Brothers… ok. That’s enough to get you started. Enjoy!!
Source for picture: Wikipedia
I’m still not feeling the holiday spirit, so I started reading some random Christmas quotes in attempt to find my Christmas spirit. I learned in the process that my Christmas spirit is firmly entrenched in the past and not ready to come back to reality. You’ll have to forgive it. It’s had a rough few years. Despite feeling kind of grumpy about the end of the year I’m definitely enjoying this time with Benjamin. He doesn’t understand what’s going on, of course, but he likes the tree and the lights and the new fun toys. And since I’m not feeling up to telling you about how great the holidays are, I figured I could share some of the quotes about today that I liked. The cynical part of me doesn’t really agree with them, but I’m trying.
“I am not alone at all, I thought. I was never alone at all. And that, of course, is the message of Christmas. We are never alone. Not when the night is darkest, the wind coldest, the world seemingly most indifferent. For this is still the time God chooses.”
Taylor Caldwell
“Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!”
Hamilton Wright Mabie
“Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.”
Dale Evans Rogers
“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all year.”
Charles Dickens
“Christmas in Bethlehem. The ancient dream: a cold, clear night made brilliant by a glorious star, the smell of incense, shepherds and wise men falling to their knees in adoration of the sweet baby, the incarnation of perfect love.”
Lucinda Franks
I sometimes think we expect too much of Christmas Day. We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and humanity of the whole year. As for me, I like to take my Christmas a little at a time, all through the year. And thus I drift along into the holidays – let them overtake me unexpectedly – waking up some find morning and suddenly saying to myself: “Why, this is Christmas Day!”
David Grayson
And in despair I bowed my head:
“There is no peace on earth,” I said,
“For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.”
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men.”
Till, ringing singing, on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
Of peace on earth, good will to men!
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I know I’m supposed to talk about what I’m thankful for today. And I am thankful for everything in my life every other day, so if you’ll pardon me I need to grieve a bit.
It’s been 1 year and 8 months since I lost my parents. For a while I figured I had grieved and moved on to a more healed point, and I still think I have. But I also knew I couldn’t expect to get over the loss of my parents easily, especially since there were such violent circumstances. So every once in a while it hits me again.
And today I feel very robbed. Robbed of so many good years I could have had – should have had – with them. Years of laughter and silliness. Years of wisdom passed down. Years with them at my Thanksgiving table, and me at theirs.
I miss them so much right now. Much more than last year, I think. I know popular opinion would be that I miss them more than last year because I have a son now, but I don’t think that’s it. Not quite. I do grieve that they are missing out on how cute Benjamin is, but when I think about them I mostly think about missing them for my sake, not his.
I think I miss them so much because time has passed and I’m ready to grieve more. I think last year I really needed to focus on being happy and having a good holiday. This year I’ve had a good year and some good times and maybe now it’s time to revisit some of that un-dealt-with grief. Which kind of stinks, because who wants to grieve? But it’s necessary and so I do. I kind of realized what was happening when I was reading Benjamin a bedtime story in a book called “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” that’s really cute. It is a story about this mouse talking to the stars and it gets to this point where the mouse wishes he could see the world the way the stars do… and I don’t know, I just sort of lost it. I put him to bed and cried and went to give my husband a hug for comfort. I haven’t done that a lot since my parents died, and I realized then how important it is to take the time.
So this holiday season, I’m giving myself a pass at being ok. I’m mostly fine, but every once in a while I’m struck with sadness.
I guess I can say a bit about what I’m thankful for after all. I’m thankful that I had them for as long as I did. I’m thankful that I have family here that understands my need to grieve in the midst of happiness. But I don’t feel very happy in my thankfulness. Not today, anyways. And that’s ok.
Dear Veterans,
Thank you for your service and your sacrifice. Thank you for dying and living and fighting for me and so many others like me who have no idea what you do on a daily basis. Thank you for protecting our freedom. Thank you for being on the front lines. Thank you.
Love,
Benjamin
